Just A Dream
by AimeeCollins
Summary: When Merlin begins having worrying dreams about Morgana, he vainly tries to find a solution. Little does he know that his quest will give him away... One-Shot! Reveal!Fic, Dark!Merlin in ch3, Mergana from ch3. Now expanded to unknown size.
1. Chapter 1

**JUST A DREAM: Part One  
**

**Originally, this was supposed to be a one-shot. It became so big, however, that I decided to split it. So, it's still a 'one-shot'… with two parts! The next part will have more Morgana in it. **

**Please, if you read this: REVIEW! The continuation of this depends on the number of reviews that I'll get! **

**Warnings: Whump!Morgana, Whump!Merlin, Dark!Merlin, Abusive!Agravaine, Reveal!Fic, Banishment!Fic  
This story contains abuse, mature content, a bit of lousy humour… **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

It all began with the dreams. Just a week ago, they'd started and they came back every night. Some felt like nightmares, others were just tragic: but they always succeeded in waking him up trembling and sweating. In that week he'd finally gathered enough courage to ask Gaius for a sleeping potion, the same kind that Morgana had always taken. His guardian had looked at him worriedly and Merlin had expected questions, but the old man had just shoved the corked bottle over the table when it was finished.

A few days later, when Merlin woke up screaming and trembling yet again, as all the days, the questions finally came. While pretending to be lost in a book about magic, Merlin was actually pondering about what he could tell Gaius. The old man was working on another potion, this one five times stronger than the last. Over his reading glasses, the old man studied his ward carefully.

'Ah, Merlin…' the physician on a tone that suggested that the man had no idea where to begin. Merlin's blue eyes met the eyes of the physician, but quickly darted back. He couldn't stand to see the worried looks that his guardian threw his way every few minutes, when he cringed at an unexpected sound, when something fell off the table, when someone knocked on the door a little too loudly.

After a few minutes of silence, Merlin shut his book loudly and laid it back on the table. Gaius looked at him intently and his gaze wouldn't waver. The young man with the raven-black hair cringed, got up from his stool and darted out of the room whilst mumbling something vague about Arthur.

While the manservant walked through the mighty halls of the castle of Camelot, surrounded by golden coloured stones with large windows and corridors that lead to random destinations, the boy finally thought back to his last dream. It had been terrifying and a somewhat embarrassing dream to have. That the dream had been about Morgana, the ill-made witch that they hadn't heard anything from for years now, didn't help.

The last time that Merlin, or anyone at Camelot, had seen her had been at the great battle. Morgana had been wounded, fatally wounded, but they'd won Camelot back. The witch had staggered out of Camelot, leaving a trail of fresh blood in her wake and Merlin had done the unthinkable.

He'd sent Aithusa to heal her.

Even though she was destined to be his mortal enemy, even though the Great Dragon always lectured him about her being the darkness to his light, he'd never been able to kill her, let alone really inflict damage on her. That one time when she'd accidentally fallen off a flight of stairs and fractured her skull, he'd forced Kilgharrah to give him the knowledge that was needed to heal her.

Merlin had never found out if Aithusa had been successful, he never found out if the young dragon had been able to find her. The white dragon had perched himself on Camelot's wall, chirped at him and then he'd flown away, leaving Merlin with even more insecurity and fear than before. Albeit the chirp had sounded cheerful, Merlin knew that it didn't have to be a confirmation.

The young warlock closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. He could hear people, servants and knights, passing him and he knew that they would look at him strangely. He didn't care about what they would think of him. The back of his head touched the stone wall and Merlin almost forgot how to open his eyes.

'_Mer_lin! Is your bed not good enough for you or is it your intention to fall asleep against the wall?'

Merlin gasped and jumped up, as always when someone addressed him when he wasn't expecting it. 'Ow!' the young man cried when he hit his head against the wall. He rubbed the back of his head with a hand while he looked at Arthur, who was glaring at him, eyebrows raised and his hands crossed over his chest.

'Arthur!' Merlin said, mentally trying to force his face to regain some colour. 'I was just… uhh…' He said, looking around as if a valid excuse would come flying around the corner straight into his arms. Of course, a solution, let alone an excuse, didn't show itself. Eventually the manservant just shrugged and raised an eyebrow at what his master was wearing.

'You dressed yourself this morning.' Merlin stuttered, feeling a laughing-fit creeping up through his throat. He swallowed it and it fell into his stomach like a stone brick, awaiting for a chance to strike. The king of Camelot looked down at his clothing and frowned. 'What? There's nothing wrong with this!' the king argued.

Merlin grinned and tried to hide the sound behind a chuckle. Arthur narrowed his eyes at his manservant in a suspecting manner. The young man coughed some more to make it more believable. He knew that with how pale his face was, combined with the dark circles that had been plastered under his eyes for more than a week now, would convince anyone that he was on his way to falling ill.

He tried not to look at the king's outfit, to prevent another laughing-fit, but he just couldn't help himself. Because of the absence of his manservant, the king had decided to dress himself this morning. The breeches that he wore had a dark brown colour and the belt around it was either fastened too tightly or needed yet another hole. The tunic that the king wore was in high contrast to the breeches: it was the bright colour of turquoise.

'Uhm… Of course not, sire. You look splendid.' Merlin eventually said, with much effort put into keeping the grin out of his voice. Arthur narrowed his eyes at Merlin, obviously searching for something offending to say, or to make a joke out of Merlin's own clothing – he knew that his neckerchiefs weren't exactly in fashion – but he seemed to change his mind.

'Just get some sleep, Merlin. That's an order.' the king eventually said. The blonde man gave Merlin a little pat on his shoulder, which was supposed to be reassuring, but Merlin cringed and backed away against the wall. He feared for any human contact, for a reason he himself didn't even understand. Arthur frowned and looked somewhat hurt, but then he just shrugged and walked away.

Merlin waited for a few minutes and when he was sure that Arthur wouldn't turn around to mock him still, the young warlock fled out of the hallways toward the courtyard. He was left undisturbed while he made his way out of the castle, even though the knights – Gwaine, Leon, Percival – threw him worried looks. Merlin ignored them and found his way toward the clearing.

Against the silhouette of the castle of Camelot, shielded by trees and mountains laid the place where Merlin came to when he needed to think, practice magic or summon the Great Dragon. It was his own personal space that no one else knew about, not even Gaius had managed to find out where he disappeared to when he needed help.

'_O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!' _Merlin yelled against the roaring wind. Clouds packed together high above his head: he was sure that there would be thunder tonight. He waited, unsure how long it would take the dragon to get there. He had no idea where the creature of magic was, or what he did, when Merlin didn't summon him. Soon, the winds caused by the beast's wings crashed against him, blowing him back a bit.

The enormous golden dragon folded his wings against his flanks and bowed his head toward the young warlock. 'Young warlock,' the dragon greeted him, his voice bellowed like thunder. 'What is it that I can be of aid to you?' the dragon looked at him intensely and not for the first time, Merlin wondered if the dragon could perhaps see right through him into his mind.

'I keep on having those dreams… nightmares.' Merlin began, but he stopped because he had no idea how to explain everything that had happened. The first dream that he'd had had been downright frightening, filled with abuse and rape. He felt tears welling up in his eyes again when he thought about. He blinked them back when the dragon stretched out his neck toward him.

'Tell me what bothers you, _brethren_.' the dragon said with a firm voice. Merlin shivered at the word the dragon had used: brethren meant both 'brother' and 'kin'. As a Dragonlord, Merlin was connected to the dragons in a way that was hard to understand to anyone who wasn't a Dragonlord.

Merlin took a deep breath and knew that he had to tell the dragon about his dreams, his nightmares. But he was fearful enough to stall it: he looked around excruciating slowly to see if anyone had followed him, even though he knew well enough that it was impossible, for he'd used magic to conceal or completely wipe out any trail that he might've left on his way.

'They're about Morgana.' Merlin threw out, finally. Instead of feeling better, relieved, Merlin felt the terror that went through his body. It felt as if he'd been lifted from the ground and the ground had disappeared under him, falling down in an endless darkness. He swallowed heavily and forced himself to think about to his first dream.

_Agravaine closed the door behind him. Morgana cringed and hastily got off her bed. Her clothes were dirty, dried-up blood was caked on her dress and it was rippled and torn at some places. Agravaine smirked at her, but not in a kind way. His smirk resembled that of a wolf, a wolf that knew what he desired and knew that he would take it, no matter what. Morgana backed away when he walked toward her. _

'_Hello my Lady.' Agravaine said, on a tone that made goose-bumps appear on both Morgana and Merlin's arms. His eyes glimmered with lust and determination and Merlin knew that it meant no good at all. 'Agravaine.' Morgana said and she tried to sound coldly, but failed. Fear and despair could be heard clearly in her voice, as clear as Agravaine's desire was. _

'_Morgana.' Agravaine returned while his hand snaked out to grab her wrist. Morgana felt a jolt of magic go through her body, dark magic that was supposed to dominate her. She tried her best to resist the powerful magic, but for some reason Agravaine was stronger than her, much stronger. She struggled against his hands while he grabbed her at her shoulders and pushed her against the wall of the small hovel. His hands tore off her dress, slowly, stretching the excruciating experience as long as possible. _

_Morgana cried and tried to claw at his face, but on his command, ropes fastened themselves around her hands, tying them together. Tears rolled over her cheeks when Agravaine's hand slipped in between her legs and she moved her head away when he untied his breeches. She turned her head right to where Merlin was standing, a silent, invisible witness to this terror. A beam of lightning outside illuminated the scene and he could clearly see the tears of desperation and the pain her eyes…_

'Merlin?' the dragon asked impatiently. 'Uh.. what?' Merlin asked. He shook his head, attempting to chase away the fog that the dream had left in his head. The dragon huffed, causing a puff of smoke to exit his nostrils. It blew right into his face and Merlin coughed. He shook his head again and looked down at his feet.

'Agravaine comes into her hovel and… forces her to do things that she doesn't want to do.' Merlin wasn't sure if the dragon was familiar with how things went with humans, but the dragon cocked his head to the side and seemed to understand what the young warlock meant. 'I thought you told me that Agravaine was dead.' the dragon said helpfully.

Merlin nodded and bit his lip. 'Yes. I killed him. In the caverns when Morgana tried to force Gaius to tell her who Emrys was.' The thought of how Gaius had been hurt caused ice to run through his veins, but it had happened long ago and Gaius had fully recovered. The dragon nodded and seemed to think about it.

'You know that Morgana is most likely dead, Merlin.' Kilgharrah said, no remorse or whatsoever in his voice. It was just a statement, a fact and Merlin hated the way he said it. The young warlock sighed and considered telling the dragon, his kin, about what he'd done, but he decided against it. The few times that Kilgharrah had roared at Merlin that he'd betrayed him, had been more than enough and scary on itself.

'Where's Aithusa?'Merlin asked, desperate to change the subject. Kilgharrah looked at him, with sceptic eyes and Merlin hoped that the dragon wouldn't ask any further about his dreams. The dragon held his head high and Merlin sensed that he was going to say something important.

'Aithusa has left to find something that might be of great importance to Camelot. He senses that the day that Arthur will accept magic is near, very near. Albion is about to be restored.' the dragon said, while he lowered his head toward Merlin again. His eyes glimmered with expectation and determination.

'You think… you think that I should tell him.' Merlin said, he didn't even bother to make it sound like a question. The dragon nodded and roared. Merlin jumped, the loud noise trembled in his stomach.

'Yes, my _brethren_, I think that it is time. It won't be long before Arthur has to find out about you and you know that.'

**x.X. JUST A DREAM.x.X.x**

When Merlin finally returned to Camelot, it was night. He could barely keep his eyes open and almost fell off the stairs when he walked on them. He softly opened the door to Gaius'es quarters and peeked around the corner. The physician was asleep on his mattress and Merlin was thankful that he wouldn't have to explain his sudden disappearance.

No matter how tired he was, he was determined to keep himself awake. Perhaps if he didn't sleep tonight and didn't dream, the dreams would stay away the next day. He turned around in his bed and knew that he was just fooling himself, he would fall asleep eventually and dream again. He wouldn't get enough sleep. He wouldn't be able to protect Arthur if it kept going this way.

So in the dead of the night, Merlin snuck out of the quarters and snuck into Morgana's old room. Everything had stayed the same and everything in the room seemed to live, as if the furniture was awaiting the return of their possessor. In the dark, everything seemed even more eerie. Gwen had long ago moved into Arthur's room. He, like everyone else in Camelot, was awaiting the day when she would get pregnant, but so far nothing had happened.

Everyone worried that she might be unable to conceive and the thought worried him. It reminded him too much of Ygraine, Arthur's mother, who'd died in order to give him life. '_Forbearnan_' he whispered, conjuring a flame in the palm of his hand. He'd looked up the spell a few days ago, it was a spell to reveal that what had been concealed. All that he would need was something of the person the spell was directed to and something that was connected to that person.

A stronger connection than being the light to her darkness couldn't be in existence. The chambers belonged to Morgana, evidently so because Arthur had forbidden anyone to enter them. Lastly, Merlin needed a mirror and the mirror on Morgana's dressing table would do. He blew the dust off the mirror and couldn't keep himself from coughing.

'_Geondlihte gesweorc min!_' _Illuminate my darkness…_ The words echoed through the chamber and then suddenly, lightning stroke right next to the window. Merlin jumped up and almost pushed the mirror off the table, he caught it just in time before it would collide with the ground. Seconds later the room was filled with an incredible bright light. To his disbelief, the light didn't blind Merlin at all: it acted more like a translucent window.

He looked around, curious to see where the light came from. It didn't come from the mirror. It seemed to come out of the centre of the room. And the centre of the room was _himself_. Merlin looked down at his hands, that glowed with the same incredible light that illuminated the room.

_I didn't mean it like that_. Merlin thought, realizing that another one of his spells had been taken too literally. Another problem occurred: he had no idea how to make the light disappeared. He tried some spells, but none of them would work. Eventually the light died away on its own, but it had taken half an hour already.

He put the mirror back on the dressing table and extinguished the flame that still burned in the palm of his hand. He hurried to the door and was about to open it when it was thrown open widely. Merlin gasped and staggered backward when the light of the torch blinded him. When he narrowed his eyes, he felt the colour leave his face and backed away, holding up his hands.

'Arthur! I can explain!' he cried, but Arthur looked grim and disappointed. The king shook his head and Merlin expected him to summon guards to arrest him, but Arthur didn't do such a thing. Arthur stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Merlin took a few steps back, bracing himself for whatever that would follow. Kilgharrah had been right: it was time.

'I understand, Merlin.' Arthur said. His voice sounded hollow and the king sounded incredibly tired. Merlin frowned and then laughed, relief going through his body and relaxing his muscles. 'You do?' he asked, surprised. He'd thought that he'd always hid his magic well, but if Arthur had found out and understood, then it wasn't a problem.

Arthur lifted his head and looked at his manservant. 'Yes, I do. Even though you always hid it well, it was easy to see for me.' the king said while he put the torch into a holder on the wall. He smiled reassuringly at Merlin and Merlin smiled back. 'Great, then I don't have to explain or apologize.' he said with a sigh.

Arthur cocked his head. 'Now I understand why you were so worried about her. How you couldn't fight her, how youwere always by her side when she was hurt. But you could've just told me, you know. I wouldn't have judged your feelings.' the king said softly, apparently hurt that Merlin had hidden it from him.

Merlin frowned and had the nagging feeling that he and Arthur were talking about different things. 'Arthur,' Merlin began, wavering. 'What are you talking about?'

The king looked at him, surprised. He shook his head and mumbled something under his breath that Merlin couldn't hear. 'Your feelings for Morgana, of course. What did you think I was talking about?' he asked, trying vainly to hide the surprise and disbelief out of his voice.

Merlin sighed and stared at his feet. He knew that he could say it now, then it would be over. He looked up at Arthur and saw the questioning expression, the eyes that clearly showed that Arthur was much more open-minded than three years ago. But he just couldn't squeeze out the words '_I have magic_.' it was impossible. He'd hidden it for so long now, for years, he couldn't just throw all that away and reveal himself.

The manservant sighed and lowered his head. Without saying anything, he quickly walked out of the room, leaving his king alone and confused.

He went into his bed and no matter how hard he tried, still fell asleep.

_He was trying it again. Morgana vainly tried to free her hands from the robes that kept her bound to her place, but they wouldn't budge. Agravaine had tied them so tightly that they cut off her blood circulation and already her hands were beginning to tingle. She hoped that this time, he would untie her before her hands would become purple, like last time. She'd almost lost them and her hands had only been saved by his magic. _

_Agravaine was leaning against the table, intensively watching a pot that stood on it. Inside it, there was a liquid that was steaming in a pink colour. He was brewing another love potion, determined to find a way to force Morgana to love him. He stirred the liquid whilst he peered in a book, but the concoction that he'd made didn't seem to satisfy him. _

_He picked up the pot and dumped it's content on the floor while curse words left his lips like a waterfall that fell off a cliff. The pink liquid sizzled and left burn holes in the floor. It slowly flowed over the ground, toward her. Morgana tried to back away, but she'd already been tied to the wall, so there was nowhere she could go to. _

_Before the liquid could burn away her skin, Agravaine muttered some words under his breath and the concoction disappeared, along with the burn holes. Morgana trembled with fear when he advanced on her, unable to stop him. She cried and tried to claw at him when he forced his manhood deep inside her and she screamed when he thrust himself inside her again and again._

Merlin screamed and fell out of his bed, entangled in his sheets and blankets. When the scream was over, silent tears started rolling over his cheeks and Merlin just couldn't stop himself from sobbing. His teeth clapped and even though he was tangled in thick blankets, he still felt cold. He also felt dizzy and nauseous.

Gaius knocked on the door and franticly yelled the name of his ward. When Merlin didn't open the door, Gaius kicked it open, even though it hadn't been locked in the first place. The old men kneeled next to Merlin and asked him what he'd seen, what the nightmare had been about. All that Merlin could bring out was a strangled name: '_Morgana_.'

**x.X. JUST A DREAM.x.X.x  
**

Merlin put the bowl on the ground and stared at it. He'd filled it with water from the lake of Avalon, hoping that the powers of the lake would help him. He secretly hoped that Freya somehow knew what he was going through, wherever she was now and that she would help him. He held his hand over the bowl and closed his eyes. He breathed in deeply, in and out in an even rhythm and tried to relax.

He wanted to go back into his bed and sleep. But he knew he couldn't. If he ever wanted to sleep peacefully again, he had to figure out why he was having these dreams and what he could do about it. But perhaps there was nothing he could do about it, perhaps it was his guilty conscience that kept on plaguing him with these dreams until the day he would die. He felt his muscles tense. It wasn't a life that he was looking forward to.

'_Onluc tha sothan treow!' _Merlin whispered. _Reveal the truth_. He concentrated fully on finding the source of the dreams. Whatever it was, it would be forced to reveal its identity in the mirror. Merlin waited and when nothing happened, he cast the spell again. The third time, he decided to combine it with the spell that he'd used last time.

'_Onluc tha sothan treow_, _geondlihte gesweorc min!_' _Illuminate my darkness, reveal the truth!_ Scenes unfolded in the bowl and Merlin stared into the water intensely. He saw Morgana, the Morgana before she had turned evil and tried to take the throne. Then he saw the hovel, it was almost as if he was looking through a window. He saw Morgana. But the scene disturbed him.

She was crying, her head lowered in shame and defeat. Her face was incredibly pale, her hair was tangled and dirty, her shoulders were bare. And she was tied.

Merlin gasped and tore his gaze away from the bowl. In his haste to get away from the images, the visions, he kicked the bowl and it rolled over the floor, spilling the water on the wooden floor. He crawled backward until his back touched his bed and trembled with realization. She was alive. The dreams he had every night weren't just nightmares: they were _visions_. He looked down at his hands and realized that he and Morgana weren't just bound: _they shared the same powers. _

And the 'darkness' in the spell didn't refer to actual darkness, it referred to _Morgana_. '_She is the darkness to your light, the hatred to your love._' the words of the Great Dragon echoed in his head. Did that mean that the other part of the prophecy should be taken literally as well? Merlin swallowed and didn't know what to make of all this.

Once again the door was kicked open. Merlin jumped up and, expecting an attack, stretched out his hand and yelled: '_Hleap on bæc!_' The one who'd opened the door fell flat on his back and cursed, running a hand through his hair and crawling to his feet. Horrified, Merlin realized that he wasn't being attacked. He'd just used magic on Arthur Pendragon.

'Arthur!' Merlin yelled, while he ran to the king and pulled him to his feet. Arthur shook his head, as if he felt dizzy, but he accepted Merlin's hand. It was a good sign, Merlin decided. The king dusted off his clothes and looked at his manservant, his expression unreadable.

'I… I can explain.' Merlin whispered, looking at his feet once again. Arthur huffed and kicked the bowl, it rolled away into a dark corner.

'Oh, I know. It consists out of three words and ends with "Magic". The other two words are "I" and "Have."' the king said furiously while he glared at his servant. Merlin cringed and felt all colours leaving his face. 'I… uhm…' he began, but Arthur cut him off.

'It was about time, Merlin. I was wondering when you were finally going to make a mistake. I was glad that no one else noticed! All that time I've been busy with working away _your_ loose ends!'

'Arthur, I – _What_?'

The king glared at Merlin. Slowly, a smile appeared on the king's face. A smile that reached his eyes. The smile turned into a smirk. Merlin smiled back insecurely, deeply confused. 'When did you find out?' he asked a bit breathlessly. He was curious, but also afraid. Could Arthur have found out about it from the beginning, when he first entered Camelot?

'Well, where to begin. When you were foolish enough to mock and challenge me and my weapon suddenly got caught in the most random objects. When a dagger was flying my way and you were suddenly _there_, just a few seconds after it had been thrown. When you disappeared into the caverns that contained the dragon – Don't think I never knew about the dragon, _Mer_lin – whenever something bad was going on. When you were always around whenever things were fixed. How you always came out of battles unscathed, without a scratch! How branches seemed to catch fire or fall down on my opponents whenever I was trouble.

Oh! And how you disappeared the entire time whenever Dragoon was around, too. Need I go on?' the king challenged, raising his eyebrows at Merlin. Merlin shook his head. 'No, I think you've made your point.' he said. Secretly, he was disappointed with himself. Arthur had known from the beginning. Arthur took an envelope opener that was laying on the closet and looked at it.

He turned it around a few times in his hands and experimented with the sharpness of the blade. Merlin narrowed his eyes at the thing and sure enough, Arthur suddenly yelled 'Catch!' and hurled the thing at his manservant. Time stopped completely in front of his eyes. Merlin calmly plucked the miniature knife out of the air and took his time to put it into Arthur's pocket. When he was satisfied, he returned to his original position and lifted the instinctive spell on time.

Arthur blinked a couple of times and frowned when he saw that Merlin hadn't moved. His eyes went to the empty spot in the air. 'Where did it go?' he asked Merlin. Arthur looked around, in the closet, on the floor, under the bed – he appeared again with a thick book and triumphantly said 'Ha! I_ knew_ you had a magic book hidden somewhere!' then he frowned at the book. 'What an idiotic hiding place.' - until Merlin had had enough fun.

'Check your pockets.' he suggested. Arthur froze in the middle of a step and put his foot back on the floor. His hands went into his pocket and one of them came out of it with the envelope opener. The king's mouth fell open. 'How did you _do _that?' he demanded, disbelief lacing his voice.

Merlin shrugged and smirked mysteriously. 'Magic.' he said teasingly. Arthur fumbled with the miniature knife and frowned at it. His expression was all but promising. Merlin watched the various emotions crossing over his face. Disbelief, disappointment – mainly with himself, Merlin assumed, but he had no idea why -, worry, sorrow.

'I don't think Camelot is ready for magic, Merlin.' Arthur finally said softly. It was barely more than a whisper, but Merlin could hear and understand it very clearly. He nodded and looked around his little chamber. There wasn't too much to pack. All he needed were his clothes, his magic book and the staff that had belonged to Aulfric, the Sidhe that had tried to sacrifice Arthur's soul so that his daughter could regain an immortal life.

'I understand.' Merlin whispered and he began packing his stuff. Luckily, his clothes and the magic book fit into the bag. He would just hold the staff, or possibly even leave it here. He didn't need it to use his magic. It was just an object to make 'Dragoon' more convincing as an old, powerful sorcerer. He was stopped by Arthur, who grabbed him at his upper arm.

'You don't have to leave right now. Get some rest. I'm sure that the knights won't feel betrayed, I think it would make sense to them. And Guinevere doesn't think that magic is-' Arthur adruply stopped speaking, as if something had crossed his mind.

'She thinks she's unable to conceive.' Arthur began slowly. He tested every word, as if he was unsure of them. 'Do you think that you could…' his voice faded away and Merlin understood what the king was asking of him. He raised his eyebrows.

'Are you sure that that's such a good idea? Arthur, to give life, you take life. Either you or Gwen, or anyone else would have to die in order for you to have a child.' Merlin said, while he looked at Arthur intensely, trying to make sure that the meaning of those words would be understood by the king. Arthur averted his eyes and nodded, seemingly ashamed.

Eventually he looked up again and smiled. 'You're right. Thank you. We'll just… adopt, or something.' he said with a shrug. Merlin smiled back reassuringly. 'Maybe you'll have some luck.' he said mysteriously, alarming Arthur. The king feigned a glare. 'Uh-oh.' he said obnoxiously, pretending to be afraid of his servant. _Ex-servant_, Merlin reminded himself silently.

'Thank you for the offer, Arthur, but I think that I can better go now. I don't want to sleep anymore.' Merlin said softly. Arthur's expression turned from amused to concerned. 'Still having nightmares?' he asked worriedly. Merlin nodded, but then he smiled. 'I found a way to fix it, though. It'll be hard, but I'm sure that it'll work.'

In fact, he was just trying to keep Arthur from worrying too much. He wasn't sure if Morgana wanted to be helped. Even though her life must've been tormenting, Merlin wasn't sure whether it was really Agravaine or not. Arthur nodded and seemed to be oblivious to Merlin's internal struggle.

'How about three years? That should be enough to convince the Council to release the ban on magic.'

'Three years! By that time I'll be old and grey!' (Arthur laughed at that and pointed out that Merlin had already been "old and grey".)

'Well, a year then? The ban on magic has been there for twenty-four years, Merlin, they won't just release it because my manservant has magic.'

'I think six months should be enough.'

'Six months isn't enough time, _Mer_lin! I have to send letters to every kingdom, whether they have allies to Camelot or not. I have to convince them to get here and then I have to explain why exactly I didn't turn in my manservant. Then I have to explain why I think magic isn't evil, while Camelot has been attacked and _thrown over_ by magic so many times!'

Merlin sighed. 'Three months then?' he opted innocently. Arthur groaned and rubbed his forehead. 'A year. Give me a year. Not a day more. Then you can come back, whether you've heard something from me or not.' Arthur said. Merlin considered to give another ridiculous suggestion ('a week' and 'a day' were part of his list) but he decided against it. He nodded at his king and hoisted his bag over his shoulder.

'A year it is.' he said optimistically. Arthur nodded and gave immediate orders to get a horse saddled and fed, so that his manservant could leave within a few minutes. 'You should say goodbye.' Arthur said sadly. Merlin nodded and before Arthur could complain or even move, hugged his master tightly. Arthur chuckled, but eventually gave Merlin a little pat on his back. Merlin grinned.

He explained the situation to Gaius, who was glad that his ward wouldn't be executed on the spot. He wasn't very happy that Merlin was _banished _either. (Arthur interjected that he wasn't _banishing_ Merlin, he was just… sending him away for a little time. Banishing, Gaius said with a nod.) Merlin hugged the old man and was practically forced to take a bag filled with herbs and objects that could be used for magic practicing – Arthur's eyes widened when he saw the objects that he'd always considered as just that, objects.

A surprise awaited him when Gwen laughed at Merlin and whispered in his ear that she already knew. Merlin stared at her and Gwen hugged him. 'I searched 'Lamia' in the library later and they can only be killed by magic, you idiot!' Gwen told him. Merlin grinned and rolled his eyes. Did everyone know about his so-called 'secret'?

Luckily, the knights didn't seem to suspect a thing when Arthur announced that there was something that Merlin had to tell them. Gwaine offered himself as 'the victim' and Merlin used magic to turn his sword into a bouquet of wild flowers. Gwaine's eyes widened and he poked Merlin with his "sword". 'Argh! Where did you leave my sword!' Gwaine mocked, eyes glimmering. The other knights didn't seem to get the little inside joke.

When Gwaine had his sword back, Merlin strapped his bags to the horse's saddle. When Gaius suggested that he should look at the horse that he was going to ride, Merlin looked at the horse closely for the first time. His eyes widened when he realized that it was Morgana's white mare. _Do they know what I'm up to?_ Merlin wondered, but he was afraid to ask.

With a last firm tug at the straps, Merlin knew that he'd stalled enough. It was time to go. Gaius gave Merlin a few more sleeping potions, claiming that Merlin hadn't yet fixed his sleeping problem. Gwen and Arthur gave him a purple neckerchief – Merlin stared at them, until Gwen said that it was supposed to be a birthday present – and the knights… gave him a last training session.

Arthur tried to give Merlin his sword. 'No, take it!' Arthur protested when Merlin tried to give it back. Merlin firmly shook his head and pushed the sword back into the king's hands. 'You'll need it. Excelibur is a _very special_ sword.' Merlin said, putting emphasis on the right words. Arthur's eyes became as big as platters and he examined his sword closely, looking for any traces or signs of magic.

'Ow!' Merlin complained when he climbed on his horse. The knights laughed – they hadn't been very soft on him with the training. After looking at his friends for one last time, Merlin lead the horse away and kicked its flanks. They galloped away into the dark night, ready for whatever that would face them.


	2. Chapter 2

**I ****want to thank all of you for reviewing, favouriting and following my story! Yes, I said it would be just two parts. Unfortunately, Agravaine won't let me and he's holding me hostage until I write part three. –Shudders- **

**I promise, the reveal will come in the next part! **

**Just A Dream. Part Two**

**Warnings: Abusive!Agravaine, Whump!Morgana, Whump!Merlin, Reveal!Fic… Mergana.  
Contains explicit abuse, somewhat explicit mature abuse scenes, dark cruelness… Psychological /mental abuse, physical abuse… But luckily also some cheesy humour that not every might understand! **

**If you've ever experienced sexual abusive, or any form of physical/psychological abuse in your life, I advise you against reading this, just in case! I'm not sure if this might bring back memories or trauma of abuse, for I've never experienced abuse myself. Thus I can't say what reading this might or will cause to those who have.**

* * *

'_You know what, Morgana? I'm sure Morgause never told you, but there's something… peculiar about your little bracelet,' Agravaine said. Merlin was standing parallel to them, invisible and silent as usual when Morgana was dreaming. Morgana was once again tied to the wall, but this time much lower, so that she was forced to sit. Her bindings limited her greatly: she couldn't get up, she could hardly move her feet to find a more comfortable position and she couldn't move an inch forward, or to the sides. _

_She gazed up at him with pure fear and agony in her eyes and Merlin could only just in time tear his gaze away from her to find that Agravaine had stopped pacing. The man, Arthur's ill-made uncle, was facing the bound witch with a perverted grin on his face. His eyes sparkled in cruel delight that made Merlin sick to his stomach. He wanted so badly to grasp the man at his neck and rip his head off, that his hands and fingers itched. The intense feelings of wanting to hurt someone so cruelly surprised him, but he didn't brush them off. _

'_You see, Morgause didn't know for sure that you would stay on her side. So she put an enchantment on your healing bracelet.' Agravaine continued, while Morgana scowled at him and followed his every move with her eyes. To Merlin's discomfort, Morgana wasn't clothed. Her gaze was cold and somewhat lifeless, just a shadow of the powerful witch that she'd once been. He failed to understand why she didn't use her magic to free herself. _

'_Yes,' Morgana spat, one of the rare moments when she actually seemed to fight back, even if just verbally. 'It blocks my dreams.' she said triumphantly while she glared at the man who'd held her captive for God knows how long. Agravaine laughed, a cruel, bellowing laugh that caused goose bumps on Merlin's skin and shook his head slowly, tauntingly. _

'_No, my sweet, defenceless Morgana. It's true that the bracelet blocks your dreams, but it also does something… extra. It's enchanted to intensify the darkness that spirals within you. And every time you use magic, or someone uses magic on you, it would be loaded and become stronger. Piling up its power until all that was left of you would be darkness.' the man, his tone cruel and low. Dangerous. _

_Merlin and Morgana gasped simultaneously. Morgana shook her head and tears rolled down her cheeks, leaving wet streaks on her bare skin. 'And you know what activated it, Morgana?' Agravaine whispered lowly, while he kneeled dangerously close to her still form. 'Hemlock, Morgana. The poison did the trick.' She began sobbing, clearly deprived of all hopes of ever escaping. Merlin staggered backward, all air knocked out of his lungs by the invisible force of shock. _

'_No,' he whispered slowly, more to himself than to the occupants of the room. He shook his head, trying to grasp it, to wrap his mind around it, but his brain just wouldn't obey and his heart was one big mess. He'd caused this. He'd caused Morgana to go evil. His hands tightened into fists, so tightly that his nails cut into the soft flesh of his hand palms. He blinked the tears away and straightened himself. 'I'm going to fix this.' he said to no-one in particular, more to convince himself than to make a point. _

_He wanted to wake up, so that he could get on his way. He had to get to Morgana as quickly as possible. Even if Agravaine wasn't alive, even if Morgana was all right in her hovel, he _had_ to remove that bracelet. It didn't matter how far he had to go to do it, for Arthur would come to accept magic without him. He'd played his part in destiny. _

'_Even Emrys can't save you now.' _

Merlin gasped and shot up in his sleeping bag. He blinked and tears that had yet to spilled slowly crept from the corners of his eyes to his cheeks, they fell on the ground and disappeared. The warlock stubbornly wiped the tears away, but more just kept coming. It was like an endless waterfall.

When the tears finally stopped, Merlin looked around. Nothing had moved in the forest that surrounded him, apart from some night creatures and leaves. He hadn't come across any bandits or thieves on his journey. Nor had he seen any druid camps. When he'd been an hour from Camelot, he'd already convinced himself that seeking out Morgana would be pointless.

Even if he would find her, she hated him and desired nothing more than Arthur's head presented to her on a silver platter. But now, after this dream, now that he knew the truth, he knew that it wasn't pointless. It was everything _but_ pointless. Agravaine knew who he was and it wouldn't be long before _something_ bad would happen.

Merlin didn't know what Agravaine was capable of if Morgana wouldn't give in. What if he killed her, poisoned her slowly, burned down the entire hovel with her shackled inside it? He would never forgive himself if he would be too late to rescue her, or if he hadn't searched for her at all. The warlock took a deep breath and tried to calm his trembling body.

Morgana's mere whinnied, affected by Merlin's distress. He got up and stroked her neck, desperate to comfort at least one of them. He ended up burying his head in her neck, his breathing coming in painful gasps, trembling all over. She cavorted, standing up on her hind legs and whinnying like there was a fire blazing around her.

Arthur's ex-manservant quickly tugged the reigns, but before she calmed down, something flew out of one of the saddle bags. Merlin could see that it was translucent, even without more than the moonlight as a source of light and how it soared through the air in a wide bow, landing in the bushes not far away from them.

_Thorn bushes, great_. Merlin thought, but he knew that he couldn't leave it here, whatever it had been. It had come out of the bag that Gaius had stuffed with magical objects, so it had to be of great importance. After fighting with the thorn bushes, bringing him more than a few scratches, Merlin had finally found the object. He'd thought that it would've been broken, soaring through the air and hitting the ground like that, but it was intact.

He sat on his knees while he brushed the dust and earth off it and his heart sped up when he saw that it was the Crystal of Neathid. He could use it to see the future! The warlock gazed into in intensively, but all that it brought him were visions of what had been and not of what was yet to come. The crystal forced him to re-live his last encounter with Agravaine, how he'd felt his magic soar through him when he'd used it to end his life. He re-lived poisoning Morgana, forced to feel all of his doubts and the hurt of his betrayal yet again.

The crystal slipped through his numb fingers and Merlin gasped, feeling chilled to the bone. _Why_, _why_ was the crystal showing him this? He tried to pick it up without looking at it, but as soon as his fingers touched it, his gaze was forced into the crystal's way. He re-lived his conversation with the Cailleach.

_Your time among men isn't over yet, Emrys, even if you want it to be_.

Merlin gasped and tore his gaze from the crystal once again. Even though his fingers were numb and his body was chilled to the bone, he lifted his arm and threw the crystal away, watching it sink in the nearby creek. He trembled and couldn't keep his teeth from clattering. For some reason using the crystal made him feel cold, lost and alone.

He sat in silence for a few minutes, struggling to compose himself and to regain control over his emotions. Finally, he reminded himself why he'd left and where he was going. He got up and walked over to the mere on unsteady legs, almost falling over and barely able to catch himself before he would collide with the ground.

He grasped the saddle for support and leaned forward, toward the mere's twitching ear. 'We're going to get Morgana.' he whispered into her white, pointed ear. It twitched and the mere whinnied softly and shook her manes. 'I don't know if you remember her, but I'm going to rescue her.' he decided stubbornly. _Now I'm talking to a horse._ Merlin thought mockingly to himself, raising his eyebrows.

Shaking it off, Merlin climbed in the saddle and kicked the mere's flanks a little too hard. He cringed when the horse wailed. She galloped away at full speed and Merlin clung to her manes to prevent himself from slipping off the saddle. The wind lashed at him and Merlin cowered and buried his head in the mere's neck, trying to use her as a shield.

They weren't very far away from Morgana's hovel.

When Merlin had decided against searching her, only a few hours ago, he'd decided to go to Ealdor. He'd turned around, going to the south instead of the east, were Morgana's hovel was positioned. Now he directed the horse toward the east again, not even struggling to keep her under control. He remembered how he'd seen, in the Crystal of Neathid, that the horse had pranced when Morgana had tried to get on her back.

It took him only three hours to reach the small clearing and he could already see the heavy stones of her hovel. Merlin swallowed heavily and felt the contents of his stomach moving upward. He swallowed again and drank some water, hoping that he wouldn't get sicker. He tied the mere's reigns to a low-hanging branch, hoping that he would return with Morgana quickly.

If Morgana was fine and didn't want to come back with him, then there would be nothing that he could do against it. He wasn't going to force her, but he did want to take the bracelet. He would take it far away from her - bury it, throw it into a lake, fling it off a cliff - if it wasn't in his power to destroy it.

He took a deep breath, straightened his shoulders and held his chin high as he almost marched toward the hovel. Just in front of the door, Merlin leaned his head against the door and stayed completely silent as he listened. He couldn't hear anything. He was about to step back and leave when he heard a strangled sob. Or at least he _thought_ that was what he'd heard.

He took a few steps back and was about to kick the door out of his hinges – it didn't look very strong, nor heavy – when he considered something that had been in his mind for a while now. What if this was simply a trap, set up by Morgana to kill him? Merlin shook his head and chased the doubts away. Even Morgana wouldn't torture her mortal enemy with these cruel dreams.

Instead of destroying the door, Merlin decided that he should try to open it, first. He pulled and nothing happened. A strange feeling of resistance swelled against his skin and Merlin realized that he couldn't open the door on a normal way. He felt hesitant about using his magic, because whoever was in there, would know immediately that he had magic.

Merlin sighed and braced himself. He stretched out his hand, palm facing the door and focused. He closed his eyes, sent a quick prayer to whoever was listening and felt the magic rushing through his body. It exited through the palm of his hand and hardly showed any visible signs. When he tried the door again, it opened smoothly, without any of the resistance that had hung around him seconds ago.

What he saw inside the hovel, wasn't what he'd been expecting. He'd expected Agravaine to be present, so that he would've had to fight the ill-made man in order to save Morgana. He'd expected Morgana, waiting for him with a wide, cruel smirk on her face, ready to strike. The little part of the inside of the hovel that stretched out in front of him, was a table, a window and the thing that Morgana had tied him to when she'd captured him so long ago.

'Morgana?' Merlin called out softly, his voice uncertain. He walked inside, his senses on full alert, ready for any sign of traps. He heard a gasp and whirled around. There she was, her limbs tied to the corners of her bed. Naked. Her back was on the bed and her legs faced him. Because she was tied, they were spread. Merlin gulped and looked away. Not that he could've seen anything through the blood that had stained her.

Perhaps if he'd seen her naked in another situation, anything but this situation, he would've felt aroused and his body might've even reacted to the sight of her beautiful pale skin and her raven-black hair. But now his stomach seemed to lurch forward, ready to empty itself. Merlin paled and swallowed heavily.

'Merlin!' she gasped in disbelief. For a second Merlin could see the pure relief in her eyes and on her expression. Then her eyes darkened and she scowled at him. 'No,' she said icily. 'This isn't real. You're just an illusion. Agravaine is somewhere near laughing at my hope, waiting to crush it.' she said softly while she shook her head. A tear slipped out of her eye and trailed over her cheek.

He shook his head and ran to her side. 'No, Morgana, it's really me. Merlin. I'm going to get you out of here.' he urged her. When he stretched out his hand to untie the rope that kept her bound to the bed, she bit in the flesh. Merlin gasped and wrenched his hand out of her mouth. Morgana stared at him, her face pale and evident fear in her eyes.

'_Please_ Morgana, I just want to untie you…' Merlin begged desperately. Morgana's eyes widened and Merlin slowly stretched out his hand again. He fumbled with the double and sometimes triple knots, but finally managed to untangle all of them. He breathed out in relief when the colour returned in her hands and feet, whoever had tied the knots clearly didn't care if they cut off the blood circulation or not.

'Come on, I'll get you out of here.' he whispered after she'd wrapped the sheet that she'd been laying on around her naked body. Even though she seemed hesitant, she didn't jerk back when Merlin reached out to her to take her into his arms. She gasped and Merlin froze, thinking that he'd startled her. 'Merlin, look out!' she yelled and before Merlin could even understand that they were in danger, he felt something heavy hit his head and spiralled into a world of endless darkness.

**x.X.x JUST A DREAM x.X.x**

He woke up with his back strained against a wooden beam. Merlin blinked groggily to clear his vision and tried to remember how he'd ended up where he was now. When he looked around, he remembered how he'd untied Morgana and how something – someone – had hit him on the back of his head.

Seconds later he saw Morgana, tied to another wooden beam not far away from him. She wasn't naked anymore – whoever had knocked him out had apparently thrown a black cloak over her naked form – but she had bruises on her skin and her lips were swollen and purple with bruises. Her eyes were red and puffed up, they were filled with tears when his blue eyes met her pale green eyes.

'_Whuthappnd_?' Merlin asked, his head hurt and he was barely able to form words correctly. He tried to focus on one thing, _anything_, but his head hurt too much and the thoughts spun freely through his head, causing his headache to get much worse. 'He knocked you out.' she whispered and Merlin could barely hear her as he pulled at the ropes that kept his hands bound together.

They were tied behind his back, so tightly that they began to tingle. It cut into his flesh and Merlin winced at the pain, combined with his headache. Stars danced in his vision and Merlin slumped against the beam, searching for support. 'Who?' he asked, fearing that he already knew the answer.

Morgana swallowed and blinked away the tears that were in her eyes. She looked down at her lap and Merlin pulled at the ropes again, only to feel the stinging pain around his wrists again. 'Agravaine.' she said softly. He could hear the fear in her voice, no longer hidden. She hung her head and Merlin stared at her.

He swallowed softly and cleared his throat, which felt dry and uncomfortably. 'But… Agravaine is dead.' he said slowly, wishing and praying that this was just one of his nightmares, that he would wake up in his bed in Camelot. 'I killed him.' he said awe-struck.

Morgana's head shot up and she stared at him bewildered. 'Looks like you didn't do a good job.' she said after a few seconds of silence. Merlin let out a strangled laugh, a humourless, hopeless laugh and shook his head. 'You're right. I suck.' he said, in a lame attempt to cheer her up.

The corners of her lips curled up just a little bit, but Merlin saw it. He sighed and looked around the room. Everything that was sharp, pointed or could other wisely be used as a weapon was far out of his reach. He brought his attention back to Morgana, who was eyeing him warily.

'Where did he go?' Merlin asked, shuffling around a few inches, trying to find a more comfortable position. Morgana shrugged and averted her eyes. Her hair was tangled together, dirty and in a bad condition. The bruises on her face and neckline, the only parts of her body that were visible to him, concerned Merlin greatly. What bruises and wounds, either physically or emotionally, did the cloak hide?

'I have no idea.' Morgana spoke with resentment. Her eyes were fixed on him and for the first time, Merlin glimpsed a part of the old Morgana deep within her somewhere. 'He usually stays away for two or three days. I suppose that he's searching for something new to torture me with.' she said. She didn't sound afraid, or resentful. Her voice sounded lifeless, stripped of all emotions, when she spoke about the torture.

Merlin breathed in deeply and already regretted what he was about to ask her. 'How long?' he managed to bring out on a strangled tone. Morgana stared at him, no understanding in her eyes whatsoever. He realized that she didn't understand what he was talking about and cleared his throat, shuffling over the hard floor uneasily. 'How long has he… been doing this to you?' Merlin asked uneasily.

'Oh.' Morgana breathed in understanding. She rested her chin on her legs, that were pulled up against the rest of her body. 'Three, maybe four.' she muttered, staring off into the distance as if she wasn't really _there_. Merlin frowned and tried to wrap his head around it. Days, weeks, months? … Years?

_When I get my hands on Agravaine, he's going to wish that he was never born… or resurrected… or something._ Merlin thought lamely, barely being able to form full sentences with his hurt head. Merlin sighed and pulled his knees up, resting his head on them just like Morgana did. He tried to silently use magic, but he felt nothing. He didn't feel the rush of power going through his body and soaring out like a flowing river. He didn't even feel something stir inside him.

He leaned his head against the wall again, perhaps if he held it high and straight, it wouldn't hurt so much. 'Haven't you tried to use magic?' Merlin asked, after a bit of hesitation. Morgana's head snapped his way and glared at him. Merlin cringed and wished that he'd kept his mouth shut.

'My magic hasn't worked for four years. It's just _gone_, Merlin.' she sneered at him. But he could see that she was just concealing her hurt and sorrow with anger and not soon after he'd noticed this, her shoulder started shaking and he watched her sob. 'Shhh…' Merlin whispered soothingly, but the effect was lost because he couldn't get near to her, to hold her comfortingly.

'It wouldn't matter if it did work, anyway. The ropes neutralize magic.' Morgana stated, once again she sounded deprived of all hope that she was ever going to get out of here. Merlin felt tears welling up in his eyes, he blinked them away and felt them rolling down his cheeks. It was officially over. Without his magic, he wouldn't be able to defeat Agravaine. He wouldn't be able to untie Morgana and release her, even if that would mean that he would be killed. There was nothing that he could do.

**x.X.x JUST A DREAM x.X.x**

Three days had passed. Agravaine had returned a day ago, forcing Merlin to watch while he tortured her. He'd kept using some kind of a spell, just one word, that slipped out of Merlin's mind every time he tried to grasp it. Though Agravaine's eyes had flashed golden and Morgana had writhed in pain, it hadn't caused any visible damage.

She would keep on choking out: 'Burning… inside!' and not long after that she would lose consciousness. Then Agravaine would do the same on Merlin, who lasted longer than Morgana, but was damaged more because of the length of the torture. They were tortured at least four times a day, sometimes even going to as much as eight, but Merlin was determined to not let Agravaine win.

Every time, he felt a little part of his magic slipping away from his grasp. He began feeling colder and colder inside, as if he were slowly freezing to death. He watched Morgana, who was still unconscious from their last tortures and resisted the urge to wake her. She needed the sleep and he rested against the wooden beam behind him, even though he kept a close eye on her breathing.

Agravaine had gone off now and Merlin was thankful for the respite. He gazed up at the ceiling silently and pondered about ways to get out of here. He couldn't think of any. All that he could hope was that Arthur would change his mind and search for him. But why would the king search for him in Morgana's hovel? Merlin sighed and blinked away the tears that were yet again filling up his eyes.

The pain he felt was almost physical. It resembled the pain that Agravaine caused with his spell: a feeling like someone was slowly pulling your insides out with a dull blade that had been lighted on fire. Merlin gasped and more tears followed the previous ones. He was going to die here, he knew that and there was nothing that he could do about it. He'd given Morgana hope and now her hope would be crushed.

In the times that Agravaine was gone, collecting suspicious looking herbs and other things, Merlin and Morgana had shared brief conversations, interrupted by tears, gasps of hopelessness and the residue pain of their torture. All that Merlin could understand from the things that Morgana had stammered, was that she'd never meant for this to happen. What "this" was, Merlin couldn't be sure. It could mean everything that had happened over the course of years, when she'd attacked Camelot, or him being held captive by Agravaine.

More tears leaked out of his eyes and Merlin didn't bother to blink anymore, knowing that he couldn't stop crying anyway. Maybe he would never stop.

'Don't cry, please…' Morgana whispered softly, her voice filled with concern, _genuine_ concern. Merlin chuckled humourlessly and blinked. He wished that he could reach out to her, to hold her hand, to hold her. He wanted to protect her from not only Agravaine, but from all bad things from the world. _Too bad that I can't even get her out of her own hovel._ Merlin thought to himself sarcastically. He glanced at Morgana and judging by the way she looked at him, she felt the same way.

'I'm sorry.' Merlin apologized softly. Morgana shook her head and opened her mouth, obviously to protest. 'No,' Merlin quickly said. 'I wanted to free you and I screwed up. And now I can't even get my hands out of these stupid magical ropes.' he said resentfully. He hadn't told Morgana about his magic, even though he wanted to. God, how badly did he want to confide in her! But it would only spark hope, hope that would be crushed, so Merlin remained silent about his secret.

Morgana sighed and wriggled around, trying to move her hands, but they wouldn't budge even an inch. Her robe, that had been wrapped around her clumsily, slipped off and revealed a curved, pale leg. Merlin blushed and averted his eyes. Regardless of the situation that they were in, Merlin had begun feeling… strange, about Morgana.

'I'm so very sorry for poisoning you, Morgana. I would give anything to reverse it, even my life.' Merlin mumbled, more to himself than to her. He glanced at her uncertainly and was greeted by a compassionate and forgiving expression. 'It's all right, Merlin. I still don't understand why you did it, but you saved Camelot.'

She smiled at him hesitantly and he smiled back, eternally grateful that he'd been forgiven – for real this time. Then he realized what she'd said and stared at her. He swallowed, cleared his throat and licked his lips. The actions only made his throat hurt even more and his lips were dry and chipped.

'You don't understand? I don't understand why you used your magic in the first place.' Merlin said slowly, carefully. Even though Morgana's mood seemed stable right now, he knew that it could change in just a second. He wasn't angry with her anymore, he was just trying to understand her.

'What do you mean?' she asked, not angry, confused rather. Merlin stared at her while the seconds ticked away. It took him long enough to realize one thing and a bit longer to realize another thing. 'You didn't know…' he breathed softly. Guilt crashed down on him and his shoulders slumped even more. He stared down at his lap, completely still for just a second.

'Didn't know what? Merlin? Merlin!' Morgana urged when the warlock stayed frozen in his place. His face became even paler than it already was, making the circles under his eyes even darker. His eyes seemed lifeless, it was as if he wasn't really there at all. Finally, he swallowed and looked back up, barely daring to look into her eyes. 'You… you were the vessel. To the enchantment. To put everyone to sleep.'

He'd explained it in a few sentences, but it was more than enough to make Morgana cry and sob again. Merlin looked at her worriedly, hearing how she kept on whispering "No" over and over again. He was afraid that she was in shock and feared that she would stay in shock. Morgana shook her head and looked up at him.

'I thought…' Merlin began hesitantly, his voice hoarse. He swallowed and licked his lips. 'I thought that you'd used your magic against us.' he fought against the tears and pushed back the various emotions that fought for dominance within him. 'You… You had to die. So that the enchantment would be broken.' he whispered softly, averting his gaze in shame.

How could he have thought that she would choose darkness over Camelot? Surely, she had eventually chosen darkness, but that after a year with Morgause. Not to forget the enchanted bracelet that was still around her wrist. Morgana followed his gaze to her bracelet and laughed humourlessly.

'Morgause enchanted the bracelet. Every time it comes in contact with magic, it's loaded. To keep me evil.' she explained. Merlin nodded, for he already knew that and creased his brow. 'Agravaine used magic against you. Doesn't that mean…?' Merlin asked hesitantly, leaving the sentence half-finished in fear of her answer.

Morgana nodded. 'It's loaded. It must be a million times stronger than before Agravaine captured me. Don't worry,' she reassured him when Merlin's eyes became as wide as platters. A quivering smile appeared on her face. 'As long as I can't use my magic, it won't do anything.' Merlin nodded and feared the day that her magic would return. If it would return at all.

Her smile faded and her gaze became solemn, sorrowful. 'But if you'd just explained it to me, Merlin… You wouldn't have had to poison me. I would've taken it myself.' she said sadly. Merlin forced the tears that were in his eyes away and nodded. If he'd known that she'd become the vessel without consent, he wouldn't have poisoned her. He would've taken her far away from Camelot. If that hadn't worked, he was sure that he would've found another way, or at least died trying to find it.

They smiled at each other and Merlin opened his mouth to say something. He would've never thought that he would say it to Morgana, but he was just about to. Then, the door opened and Agravaine stepped into the hovel. Merlin bit his tongue and squeezed his eyes shut, forcing himself to swallow back the words.

Agravaine smirked at them and Merlin narrowed his eyes at the cruel man. He couldn't believe that this was Uther's brother – at least he guessed that it was Uther's brother, since Ygraine's brother had been killed by Uther himself – but on the other hand, Agravaine possessed the same cruelty as Uther had. 'Look what I found!' Agravaine said fake-cheerfully while he held up his hand.

Merlin felt all colours leave his face when he saw the metal poker that Agravaine held in his hand. There was no doubt about it where it would be used for. Agravaine's cruel smirk widened when he saw Merlin's expression. Merlin dared to glance at Morgana, who looked just as sick as Merlin felt. Agravaine started a fire in the fireplace with a gesture and laid the poker into it.

The crackling sound of the fire sickened Merlin and he fought against the impulse to wriggle against the ropes. He knew that it was no use. He stared at Morgana and she stared back and the understanding that had blossomed between them deepened even more. "You're going to be fine." Merlin mouthed to her, a silent promise that he wasn't sure he could keep. Morgana shook her head, probably assuming what Merlin would do to protect her.

In the half hour that it took for the poker to heat up, Agravaine tied Morgana to the bed and forced Merlin to watch how he raped her. He thrust his manhood into her time after time, not being gentle at all. If Merlin did even as much as averting his gaze, Agravaine would carve in Morgana's bare breasts with a small dagger.

Merlin's stomach lurched upward when he accidently averted his gaze for the third time. Agravaine grinned while he drove the dagger slightly deeper into Morgana's right breast. Morgana gasped, but kept her lips firmly together, determined not to scream or plead. Merlin forced himself to watch and flinched when Agravaine dug his nails into Morgana's breasts.

Morgana arched her back, in an attempt to move higher so that she could escape the pain. Agravaine pushed her back on the bed and slammed his knee between her legs. Morgana cried out through her lips and Merlin winced, wishing that he could use his magic so that he could scrape Agravaine's insides out of his stomach, slowly, agonizingly slowly.

The intensity of his hatred surprised Merlin. He could easily cross over the edge of light and darkness to brutally murder Agravaine. He wished that he could let him go through the same pain as he was causing Morgana. But as long as his hands were bound, he couldn't do anything. He tugged at the ropes again and Agravaine smirked wolf-like when he saw it.

The ropes didn't give away an inch. Agravaine replaced his knee with his manhood and poised it just in front of Morgana's core. 'Do you like watching, Merlin?' Agravaine asked tauntingly. Merlin let the air in his lungs escape through his teeth. 'Yes.' he replied hoarsely and emotionless.

'Do you like it when I do this?' Agravaine asked, while he thrust his manhood into Morgana's core so harshly that Merlin saw blood trickling onto the inside of her thighs. Merlin licked his lips and forced himself to reply. 'Yes.'

They'd been through this game a few times before. Whenever Merlin didn't watch or reply with a positive answer, Agravaine would inflict pain on Morgana. It hurt him to say it, it hurt him that Morgana was there to hear it, but he didn't want her to get any more hurt than she already was.

'And would you like to do this yourself?' Agravaine asked while he took one of Morgana's nipples between his fingers and squeezed hard enough to make her wail. He grinned darkly at her and squeezed again and again, all while he kept on thrusting himself inside her time after time.

'Yes.' Merlin replied, hearing how his voice started to break. He forced himself to keep looking and he balled his fists. How he'd love to strangle Agravaine with his bare hands, with Morgana watching, knowing that he was doing it for her and not for himself.

'Very well then. I know what game we'll play next time.' Agravaine said before he untied Morgana. She cried when her feet touched the ground and almost collapsed, when Agravaine roughly kept her up on her feet. He tied her to the beam again, while she was still naked and covered in blood and tied the ropes too tightly. 'Now…' Agravaine told them with a cruel smirk.

He took the hot poker out of the fire and blew at it, causing the metal to turn from bright white to bright yellow. Merlin saw Morgana wince and he tried not to look at the places where the old burn marks had been on her skin. Agravaine had always healed them, or at least the marks, when he was done. Merlin, however, was covered in burn marks, some were infected, because Agravaine just pierced straight through his clothes.

Merlin shuddered and wriggled with the ropes when Agravaine walked toward Morgana. He pointed the poker at her and just when he wanted to bring it down, Merlin yelled: 'No!' Agravaine leaned back and watched Merlin curiously. Morgana protested, but he ignored her. He raised his eyebrows. 'Yes, Merlin?' he asked heartlessly.

'I'll take her pain!' Merlin said quickly, before his fear could get the best of him. Agravaine smirked wolf-like and nodded. 'So be it.' he said solemnly while he advanced on Merlin. The hot poker burned through Merlin's shirt and burned his skin. Merlin couldn't keep his lips together and screamed, his scream echoing through the hovel.

The second time, Agravaine used that spell again and Merlin wriggled around. He didn't have any breath left to scream and just wailed whenever the poker hit him. He subconsciously tugged at the ropes and even though he was blinded by the pain, realized something. _They were moving_. Instead of cutting through his skin, the ropes rubbed over his wrists, causing them to burn slightly.

After twenty more times of being stuck with the poker, combined with the spell, Merlin was almost unconscious, but he'd figured it out. The ropes neutralized magic, when it came from the one they bound. When it came from an outer source, the ropes had to put up a resistance. A resistance that was slowly destroying them.

It had taken them three days to get this loose and he could only move his wrists a few inches. How long would it take before they were loose enough so that he could free himself? Merlin feared that he wouldn't live long enough to see that day. Agravaine left, leaving Merlin heavily wounded and Morgana sobbing softly.

'My hands are going numb.' Morgana sobbed. Merlin looked up and through blinding tears, he could see how they were turning a deep purple. He shook his head softly and closed his eyes. If Agravaine waited for two more days before coming back, Morgana would lose her hands. Merlin coughed and for a second he thought that he was going to cough up a lung.

'It's funny, you know.' he blabbered, barely conscious. Morgana watched him worriedly and opened her mouth when Merlin quickly continued. 'I was supposed to have a great destiny, help Arthur, blabla… the Cailleach told me herself. And look at me now. Trapped with the beautiful Lady Morgana, in her tiny little hovel, with Arthur's _uncle_ torturing us. Life's _really_ gentle on me!'

Merlin laughed stupidly at Morgana, his words slurring as if he was drunk. Morgana laughed back uncertainly, more so to play along than that she really found it funny. Her pale green eyes, widened with concern, were the last thing that Merlin saw before he felt like he was being dragged under water.

**x.X.x JUST A DREAM x.X.x**

'Merlin, wake up! Please! _Oh God, please wake up_!' Morgana's breaking voice dragged him back to consciousness. Merlin groaned and groggily opened his eyes. All he could see was a blur. He blinked a few times and even though his body ached all over, he managed to clear his vision.

'Thank the Gods!' Morgana breathed when he looked in her way. Merlin tried to smile reassuringly, but his head hurt too much. His stomach rumbled and he tried to laugh, causing the ache in his head to worsen. 'Ow!' he muttered when he leaned his head against the wood, still looking at Morgana with his eyes.

'Keep talking.' Merlin muttered tiredly, fighting to keep his eyes open. He feared that if he would close them, he would be closing them forever. Morgana blinked and opened her mouth. 'My hovel is _not_ tiny.' she said firmly. This time, Merlin did laugh and winced at the pain that went through his chest.

'And I don't think that I'm beautiful anymore.' Morgana mumbled to herself. Merlin heard her and glanced at her in disbelief. 'Of course you're beautiful!' he protested loudly. Morgana smiled softly and Merlin realized that she'd only said it to get him talking.

Then his eyes widened. 'Oh God. Did I really call you beautiful?' he asked, faking horror in his voice. Morgana laughed, her eyes glimmering. 'Yes, you did. Who would've thought.' she teased. Merlin grinned, ignoring the pain that it caused.

'You're right. We could've drank each other's blood and look at us now.' he said with a smirk. Morgana smirked back and the two grinned at each other.

'What was that about having a great destiny?' Morgana asked curiously. He could see that she was genuinely curious, it wasn't just to keep him awake and talking. Merlin debated in his mind what he was going to tell and what he was going to keep a secret. Finally, he had his story.

'Well…' he said with a bit of hesitation. He cleared his throat and once again winced at the pain in his throat and chest. 'When I came to Camelot, someone told me that my destiny was to protect Arthur. Arthur and I couldn't stand each other at the time, so I accused them of being idiots, or that they were talking about another Arthur. I couldn't imagine protecting that arrogant prat.' Merlin said.

Morgana laughed and encouraged by this, Merlin kept talking, a bit of humour lacing his voice now and then. 'So I was made his manservant. Can you imagine? He forced me to hundred chores a day! But I did them all.' Merlin said proudly. Morgana laughed. 'Not arrogant at all. No, very modest.' Morgana teased. 'Hey!' Merlin yelled at her and she stuck out her tongue at him.

She batted her eyelashes at him, looking very innocent. Merlin admired her beauty, her strong form for a few seconds before he realized that she was looking at him expectantly. 'Right. Where was I? Oh, I became his manservant. I saved his ass many times, you know. You don't have to believe me, though.' Morgana rolled her eyes, but smiled at him.

Merlin got more serious and eyed her carefully. 'So then the veil was opened and we had to close it. I was going to sacrifice my life, before Arthur could sacrifice his life. But the Cailleach stopped me and told me…' Merlin squinted, pretending that he was trying to remember the exact words. The words had been burned into his memory, there was no way he would forget them.

'Oh, right. "_Your time among men isn't over yet, even if you want it to be."_' Merlin said, hesitating at some point. He'd left his druid name out of it, he didn't think that Morgana was ready for that yet. When he'd shown up in his disguise as an old man, Morgana had been scared to death. 'And then Lancelot sacrificed himself, instead of Arthur or me.' Merlin finished.

The silent _And then you resurrected him and turned him against us_. hung in the air, but neither of them said a word. Eventually, Morgana cleared her throat and shuffled with her feet. Merlin was leaning his head against the wooden beam again, pretending to look at the ceiling.

'Do you want to know what she told me?' Morgana asked hesitantly, calling Merlin's attention back to her. He nodded silently and watched her as she seemed to hesitate. Merlin smiled at her encouragingly, but when she spoke, he wished he hadn't.

_'The one they call Emrys, he will be your destiny and he will be your doom.'_


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello readers!**

**Finally, the end. I hope it doesn't leave you dissatisfied. Now that series 5 has started, I unfortunately have lost all hopes of Mergana. Especially with an adult Mordred… -shudders-**

**Enjoy reading!**

The words hung between them, in the silence. Merlin looked at his lap and wouldn't look at Morgana. He didn't know what Morgana was thinking or doing, but he could feel her eyes on him. For a second he considered telling her the truth, that the old man wasn't Emrys, that _he_ was Emrys, but he just couldn't bring himself to it.

Just like he couldn't tell her that he had magic, he didn't want to scare her with this. She'd think that he'd come to kill her. Perhaps she would even think that he enjoyed her pain. Merlin shook his head to clear away all the thoughts. He cleared his throat.

'You remember that time when you captured me?' Merlin asked after a seemingly endless silence. Morgana nodded and looked at him expectantly. 'I never stopped feeling sorry for you, you know.' Merlin said. He bit his tongue, thinking that he'd gone too far when he saw various emotions cross over Morgana's features.

'I know.' Morgana admitted softly. Merlin sneaked a glance at her and saw that she'd averted her eyes. She seemed insecure. He sighed in relief and she looked up when she heard the sigh. He smiled hesitantly at her and she smiled back. Their smiles quickly turned into smirks.

**x.X.x JUST A DREAM x.X.x**

'Tell her the truth!' Agravaine ordered, his hand stretched out to Merlin as if he was going to slap him. Instead of slapping him, Agravaine used that one-word spell and Merlin writhed in pain. He had a firm hold on Morgana, who was forced to stand next to him. 'No?' Agravaine asked, raising an eyebrow. Merlin shook his head and bit his tongue stubbornly.

He was only doing this because Morgana asked him to. Every time that Agravaine asked him to "tell the truth", she shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. She didn't know what exactly Agravaine was trying to force out of him, but it was obvious that she didn't want him to tell it.

Merlin knew what Agravaine wanted: he wanted Merlin to reveal that he was Emrys. Why, Merlin didn't know. Perhaps to scare Morgana, hoping that she would be driven into Agravaine's arms? 'All right then.' Agravaine said on a fake cheerful tone, dragging Merlin out of his thoughts.

He shuddered when Agravaine calmly took a bottle from the table. The glass was darkly tinted and there was no label on it, but Merlin knew that it was hemlock. He put three drops of the poison in a cup of water and Merlin averted his gaze.

'Drink.' Agravaine ordered. Morgana's lips quivered while she brought the cup near. Merlin tightly shut his eyes, but he still heard her cough and choke. He shivered and wished that he was somewhere else, or in Morgana's place. When Morgana kept coughing and choking, Merlin was afraid that Agravaine would let her die.

But he gave her the antidote, combined with some magic and she took deep breaths. Agravaine glared at Merlin and bound Morgana to her place again. It wasn't the first time that this had happened: Agravaine kept trying it. And every time, Morgana made him promise that he wouldn't say a word.

Merlin sighed and he was grateful to see Agravaine leave. After the door had been locked, no doubt with magic, they remained silent for some more minutes. When it was evident that Agravaine wasn't coming back soon, Morgana quietly asked: 'Are you all right?'

He stared at her, his blue eyes wide open. His mouth opened and closed again, for the words refused to come out. 'I should be asking you that.' Merlin replied, hearing the guilt in his voice. There was nothing that he could do to help her, to free her. He couldn't even give his own life, because Agravaine kept him alive, even if just barely.

'I'm fine.' Morgana said bravely, but Merlin could see her lips quiver and the moisture welling up in her eyes. He was about to tell her that she didn't have to be brave around him: he'd seen her cry and could almost physically feel the sympathy that they shared, but he knew that it was her way of going through this without losing her sanity.

Morgana looked at him, her expression freed of the pain that she'd felt earlier. Merlin could see something in her eyes, in the way she looked at him, but he failed to recognize it. He was sure that he'd seen it before, but his thoughts were muddled and he felt as if someone had hit him with a metal hammer more than once.

'I know you're lying.' Merlin said quietly, their eyes locking. Morgana blinked rapidly, but still managed to give him a quivering smile. He wished that he could get nearer to her, so that he could hold her hand, hold her, comfort her. _That's the second time I'm thinking that._ Merlin thought to himself, while he frowned.

Morgana smiled. 'You still didn't answer _my_ question.' she said cockily. Merlin grinned and found that he was admiring her soft, white skin and her dark, raven-black hair and quickly averted his eyes. _It's just because I'm held captive with her, _ he tried to convince himself. _When you're with someone for a long time, with no-one else to talk to you, you'll start feeling attracted. _he almost nodded at himself, but managed to keep himself from looking like he was losing his sanity.

_Am I all right? _Merlin wondered for a few seconds. Eventually, he sighed and shook his head. 'The hemlock brought back memories.' he said softly, averting his eyes once again. He feared that what he'd said would awaken Morgana's old hatred. Then again, he couldn't help it that Agravaine choose to use hemlock as tool for torture.

Morgana nodded, even though Merlin couldn't see it. 'I know.' she whispered, her voice breaking. Merlin looked up and longed to comfort her. He just didn't know _how_. He couldn't tell her about his magic, he couldn't tell her that he was Emrys, what _could_ he tell her?

Most certainly, he couldn't tell her about Arthur. His hopes were that Arthur would start looking for him. What if the ban on magic was lifted early and the king would come looking for him? But Arthur would most certainly start with Ealdor and then the druid camps, Merlin guessed and that would take him far away from Morgana's hovel.

He sighed and wriggled with the ropes again. They'd loosened a bit more, revealing at least five inches of space between the ropes and his skin, but his hands were too big. _Maybe I should find a way to cut my thumbs off, then I could get my hands through._ Merlin thought sarcastically. He slumped against the hard wood behind him and stared at the ceiling.

They'd discussed most important things now, from the way how she'd resurrected Lancelot and gotten Gwen to kiss him, to Aithusa and how he'd healed Morgana when she was on the brink of death.

Merlin had even made fun of himself, mocking his skills as an assassin when Morgana had used the Fomorroh on him. Eventually they'd made peace and accepted all the things that they'd done wrong to each other. Now, they were basically out of things to talk about.

He closed his eyes and he noticed how his own weight seemed to be dragging him down. It felt like he was being pulled under water, deprived of air for a long time. Too long. He faintly heard Morgana calling for him, but it was like she was very far away.

'Merin! _Merlin!_' Morgana yelled again and finally her desperate tone seemed to get through to Merlin. He opened his eyes weakly and had to fight to keep them open. 'Hmm..?' he muttered, wishing that Morgana would just leave him be so that he could sleep for a very, very long time.

A small part of his mind realized that this wasn't good, not good at all and that there must be some kind of dark magic involved, but that part didn't get through to the rest of his mind. 'So… tired. Want to.. sleep.' he muttered weakly and Morgana's eyes filled up with tears.

He could barely keep his eyes on her, but because she was so sad, he managed it. A strangled sob came from between her lips and Merlin felt sorry. In a last attempt, he fiddled with the ropes again, but he still couldn't get his hands out. A frustrated sound left his lips as he slumped against the wood again.

'No, you can't fall asleep, you hear me? _Don't_ fall asleep!' Morgana pleaded, but it was to no avail: Merlin closed his eyes and could barely stay awake. She started sobbing and pleading again and Merlin felt even sorrier. Sorrow washed over him and it dragged him down even more.

'Merlin I- I need to tell you something. It's important.' Morgana's quiet voice, laced with uncertainty called him back into reality partly. He forced his eyelids to move and he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, silently letting her know that he was listening.

He felt almost peaceful when a comfortable warmth spread through his limbs, accompanying the strange heavy feeling that had already settled on his body. He couldn't remember where he was, or what he'd been doing, let alone with who he'd been there, wherever _there_ was. In a last attempt, he used a spell in his mind and felt the last magic rush through his veins. He knew that it would fail even before it had left his body.

'I… I love you.'

The three words were enough to cause a very different, life-giving warmth to rush through his body. He no longer felt dragged down by his own weight. Magic rushed through his veins, re-awakened by something that Merlin could only know as love. His lips automatically formed a wide smirk and he knew that he would feel eternally grateful for those three words: he would treasure them forever, no matter what tomorrow would bring to him.

'Merlin?'

Merlin opened his eyes slowly, when he was absolutely sure that the magic that had caused him to die was gone. He was sure that he _had_ been dead, because for just a few seconds, he'd been freed from the pain and his soul had been traveling to a very different place.

'_Morgana_.' Merlin replied, more warmth spreading through him when her name left his mouth. His tone was filled with compassion, love and a loyalty that would never die. The humongous grin on his face gave him away and Morgana exhaled the breath that she'd been evidently holding.

'I thought I'd lost you.' Morgana whispered, he saw that her shoulders were shaking and his eyes found the streaks of tears that went down her cheeks. He decided that he wouldn't tell her that he'd actually been dead, that would only scare her. 'You saved my life.' Merlin said, noticing how the amazement and admiration filled his voice.

Morgana smiled, but shook her head furiously at the same time. 'No, really, you did.' Merlin argued. He didn't know how he could explain it without revealing his magic, but every single instinct was telling him to reveal himself. He had to bite his tongue in order to keep himself from spilling every secret that he had been keeping for so long.

Things about Camelot, that she didn't need to know. How Kilgharrah had told him that she was evil and had to be killed, the things he knew about the supposed alliance between her and Mordred, every prophecy that he'd received in the years after the great battle. All the secrets wanted to jump out of his mouth and Merlin had trouble with holding them back.

'Thank you, for saving my life, Morgana.' Merlin said, watching how a smirk equal to his own came to her face. Somehow her love had revived his magic and he wondered if _his_ love could revive _her_ magic. Merlin yawned and grinned. Leaning his head against the wood, he glanced at Morgana. 'Now I'm allowed to sleep, right?' he asked jokingly.

Morgana grinned back at him and pursed her lips. 'Only if you tell me you love me.' she said sweetly, defiantly. Merlin almost choked on the air that he'd been drawing into his lungs and tried his best to not gawk at her. _Where does she get her confidence from? _he wondered, awe-struck for just a few seconds before he grinned inwardly. 'Now why would I do _that_?' he snapped, faking disgust.

Morgana's smile faltered and her lips started to quiver. _Uh-oh_ he thought.

'I love you!' he exclaimed, before she would begin to cry again. Her eyes widened and Merlin grinned sheepishly until she glared at him with eyes that spat fire. _If looks could kill…_ Merlin shuddered inwardly. 'Sorry,' he apologized. 'I was just… teasing you.' he said uncomfortably, fearing that he would never be able to make up to her.

He was confused when her face split into a major grin. 'And _I_ was teasing _you_.' she remarked. Merlin glared at her. 'But I- You- You scared me half to death!' Merlin argued, stumbling over his words as he tried to finish at least _one_ sentence. Morgana laughed at his expression and raised an eyebrow at him. Merlin mumbled something under his breath and rolled his eyes.

While Morgana was laughing, Merlin was once again trying to find a way to them out of here. His forehead creased, there _had_ to be a way. Most of all he just wanted to have his hands free so that he could kiss Morgana, but he decided against telling her. He had no idea how she would react if he even _touched_ her, for four years of sexual abuse must´ve traumatized her in some way.

Merlin sighed and Morgana seemed to pick up on the way his mood was headed. ´Do you think you´ll ever get out of here?' She asked cautiously. He shrugged and met her eyes. 'I hope so. But with this ropes around my wrists I can't- _The ropes!_' he exclaimed suddenly, clearly startling Morgana.

He met her eyes with a fierce determination. 'Morgana,' he said slowly, making sure that he had her attention fully. Morgana looked at him questioningly and raised an eyebrow. 'Do everything you can to make Agravaine attack me with magic.' he pressured. 'But, Merlin-' Morgana began, but he cut her off.

'It's hard to explain. If he uses enough magic on me, the ropes might not be able to hold.' he said quickly, hoping that it was enough for Morgana to trust him. She still looked doubtful and Merlin sighed. 'Can you do that for me, please? I'm afraid it might be the only way to get us out of here.' Merlin asked while he shuffled over the floor uneasily. Now that he had a chance, as small as it was, he wanted to get on with it.

'I'm afraid that he'll kill you.' Morgana confessed quietly, concern and fear etched on her face. Merlin nodded thoughtfully. 'Maybe it will. But it's our only chance.' he said, determination lacing his voice like never before. If Morgana wouldn't help him, he would enrage Agravaine himself, no matter the consequences.

**x.X.x JUST A DREAM x.X.x**

_The old man stood proudly in the centre of the room. His shoulders were straightened, his chin held high, his back arched. The ache that he usually felt when he was old had faded away, perhaps forgotten by the current situation that unfolded itself in front of him. _

_The last bit of magic that had been needed had hit him. It had almost cost him his life, but he couldn't care less. 'Agravaine.' he said, his composure calm and deadly. The ill-made man turned on his heels from the woman that he'd been about to torture and he gasped. He staggered backward until his back was pressed against the table. The old man stretched out his hand, palm faced toward the man that had tortured her. He was determined to seek revenge for everything that he'd done to her. _

'_May you die feeling the same pain as the pain that you have inflicted.' the man spoke in the tongue of the Old Religion, his tone almost sincere as he weaved his web of magic, ready to command him. 'May every little wound, every drop of poison that you've ever used on your victims be brought back into your body to bring you a violent and long lasting death. May the Darkness that I wield consume you and destroy your soul for all eternity.' _

_Agravaine gasped as an electric blue spear of lightning came soaring in his way. The man roared one last word before the magic and the Darkness consumed him. _

'_Emrys!'_

Morgana gasped awake, startling Merlin in the process. The young warlock looked at her with wide eyes, watching as she gasped for air and forced it into her lungs. Her body was trembling, her hands were still slightly purple and her face possessed the colour of a corpse.

'Morgana! It was just a nightmare! Just a dream!' Merlin yelled to her in an attempt to calm her down. She continued to tremble, but he saw that her eyes found his and he didn't break the eye-contact. Slowly, she stopped trembling and took in deep, slow breaths. Her eyes were still wide in horror and fear, but Merlin thought that she would be all right.

'What did you dream about?' Merlin asked worriedly, but Morgana just shook her head and looked away. Merlin's forehead creased and he knew that it had something to do with them being in the hovel, he could just _feel _it. He feared that she'd dreamed about him getting killed, about him using magic or anything as horrible as that.

Merlin sighed and fumbled with the ropes. _Maybe if I close my eyes and use silent magic… _he thought, but then he remembered that it would only work if the magic came from an outer source. In the past days, or weeks - for Merlin had lost track of time and had no idea how long they'd been in the hovel – he'd considered summoning Kilgharrah, but decided against it.

He was pretty sure that the dragon wouldn't show up. Perhaps he would, but he knew that he wouldn't risk getting close to Morgana's hovel. Merlin had insisted that she'd been alive and the dragon hadn't agreed, nonetheless the ancient creature of magic would be careful. If he found out that Merlin had summoned him while he was in the hovel, Kilgharrah would suspect that it had something to do with Morgana.

Merlin sighed and leaned his head against the wooden pillar behind him, closing his eyes. Sleep had never been far away from him and it came to claim him now.

**x.X.x JUST A DREAM x.X.x**

When Agravaine entered the hovel and closed the door behind him three days later, Merlin could feel it. Every fibre of his body, every inch of his skin was aware: today would be the last of Agravaine's games. If he didn't act now, he and Morgana would both be dead before the dawn of the next day.

The man, Arthur's ill-made uncle, smirked at the paleness of Morgana's skin and the infections that slowly began spreading over Merlin's body. Even if Agravaine didn't choose to kill them, Merlin knew that he wouldn't last long. The infections would kill him. Even though he was no expert at medicine, like Gaius was, he knew that he wouldn't last a week, not without help.

The magic that had been re-awakened by Morgana's love rushed through his veins and he could hear his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. His lips formed a thin line as he glared at the man that had caused all this. Cruelty seemed to be a family trait and Merlin prayed that Arthur hadn't inherited it.

'Ready for another game?' Agravaine asked them. Merlin refused to reply, nor did Morgana. Agravaine grinned wickedly and began untying Morgana slowly. When her hands were loose, she lurched forward and clawed at his face, embedding her nails into the flesh of his cheeks harshly.

All Agravaine did was laugh as he roughly shoved her away. She hit her head on the wall and Merlin flinched when he thought he heard something crack. Blood trickled down into her hair, but she remained conscious and Merlin realized that she looked strong. She looked like a warrior princess, ready to fight again.

She stretched out her hand and yelled something in the tongue of the Old Religion. Her eyes didn't flash golden, Agravaine didn't even flinch. Then the dark-haired man burst out into cruel laughter and Morgana's shoulders slumped. Merlin couldn't do anything when Agravaine tore the black cloak from Morgana's trembling form.

Painfully slowly, he forced Morgana to walk toward the bed. He efficiently tied her wrists above her head to the bed and her feet to the other side of the bed. Because the bed was in line with Merlin's current entrapment, Merlin had no choice but to watch.

Morgana pleaded and cried, but it was to no avail. Agravaine slid his hands between her legs, stroking slowly up and down, lengthening her suffering. He grinned when he slipped a finger into her core and laughed when she tried to look away, forcing her with a hand under her chin to look him into the eyes.

'Look at me, _my love_!' Agravaine snapped when Morgana closed her eyes tightly. The man buried his manhood deep inside her and a strangled sob left her lips. He started moving, up and down, moaning all the while. Merlin swallowed and bit his lip to keep himself from screaming, yelling, cursing.

Morgana pulled at the ropes that kept her shackled and Agravaine slapped her. Her head snapped away and she sobbed. Then Agravaine drove his nails into Morgana's breasts. Morgana's body trembled with sobs when Agravaine bit into her nipples.

All the while, Merlin was shaking with unconcealed hatred. He wanted to kill Agravaine so badly. He wanted to burn the man alive, to give him the most dishonourable death possible. He would feed him to stray dogs if there had been any. But before he could do that, he had to get himself loose first.

'Agravaine!' Merlin yelled, struggling to keep the hatred out of his voice. The young warlock noted how he sounded very close to hysteria and forced himself to calm down. The man looked over his shoulder while he thrust his manhood into Morgana again.

'Yes?' he asked, a bit out of breath when he thrust again. Merlin had to force himself to keep his eyes open, because he wanted to close them so badly. He wanted to close his eyes and wake up, finding out that it had all been just a dream. Maybe if he closed his eyes and let himself be killed, then the suffering would stop. _I can't do that_. Merlin thought and he knew it was true, so true.

'Morgana doesn't want to be with you because she loves _me_!' Merlin said on a fake-cheerful tone. Agravaine roared and closed his hands around her neck. Morgana gasped, but no air would come into her lungs. She struggled against the ropes, but it was to no avail. Merlin saw her face become blue.

'It's true, you know. She loves me and I love her. I got something that you'll never get: her heart!' he continued after gulping. No matter what, he had to get Agravaine away from Morgana. Even if he only loosened his grip… He couldn't let her die!

Instead of releasing her, he leaned toward Morgana until their faces were only inches apart. Morgana's eyes widened and she tried to crawl away. 'I gave you everything. I even brought you _him_,' the man whispered on a dangerously cruel tone, gesturing toward Merlin.

'And yet you _still don't love me_.' Agravaine whispered while his grip around Morgana's neck tightened. Morgana's eyes flashed toward Merlin and he could see the fear in her eyes. Her pale green eyes were wide and filled with tears and sorrow. He understood the message: _Get out of here_. But he shook his head stubbornly.

'It's not _her_ that you should hurt. I'm the cause of all this, you know? Without me, she wouldn't even be here!' Merlin said, noting how a slight hysteria slipped into his voice. A nervous giggle bubbled up inside of him but he pushed it away.

He breathed out in relief when Agravaine's grip loosened and Morgana gasped and coughed. The tears that had welled up in her eyes rolled down her cheeks, leaving a pathway of streaks on the pale skin. Merlin braced himself when the man slowly walked toward him.

'So you love her and she loves you.' Agravaine said cruelly. Merlin braced himself and nodded. Agravaine laughed triumphantly, something that confused Merlin deeply. Agravaine grinned and spread his arms. 'So all I have to do is kill you and then she'll love me!' the man laughed.

Merlin didn't agree with that statement, but he remained silent. The man chuckled. 'So be it.' he said darkly. Morgana gasped and cried. 'No, no! Merlin!' she cried desperately. Merlin bit his tongue to keep himself from replying and instead followed Agravaine with his eyes, who walked toward him.

He was forced to look up at the man that towered over him. His expression was dark and cruel, but triumphal as well, as if he'd already won. 'Please!' Morgana sobbed, but Agravaine ignored her. He stretched out his hand toward the young, defenceless warlock on the floor and barked _that_ word.

The warlock couldn't keep himself from screaming, the sounds of agony being torn from his throat. It felt like someone was sawing through him, as if a fire was consuming him from the inside. A fire fed by Agravaine's insane hatred, or perhaps just his insanity. The word was used again and again and Merlin subconsciously tried to get away from the pain.

The ropes bit into his wrists, but every time the pain struck, they loosened just a bit more. Merlin blocked out Morgana's sobs and focused on the pain entirely. He focused on the feeling of the inner flames that were consuming him and followed the tendrils of magic when they slipped into the ropes. He felt the resistance that the ropes made when the magic collided with the fibres.

'Any last words, _Emrys_?' Agravaine enquired in a low whisper while he crouched in front of Merlin. Merlin was barely conscious, but managed to catch the last word. Agravaine had whispered it so soft that even he'd hardly heard it.

Merlin pushed the pain away and straightened his shoulders. He opened his eyes and locked eyes with Agravaine. A smile appeared on his face. 'Yes,' Merlin said calmly, confidently. Confident enough to make Agravaine waver.

His river blue eyes darted toward Morgana and they locked. Blue to pale-green. Warlock to witch. Magic to magic.

'I love y-'

Before he could even finish his sentence, Agravaine roared a spell that Merlin knew would end his life. The warlock braced himself and closed his eyes tightly. The spear of lightning hit him square in his chest and he barely even felt the pain.

The young warlock's body bolted forward by the extent of the pain. Then he fell back against the wooden beam and his head hung to the side, his eyes closed, his expression almost peaceful. His chest didn't rise and no air was pulled into his lungs.

'_Merlin!' _Morgana yelled desperately, tugging at her shackles even harder than before. 'No! _No!_' she whispered, before she started sobbing. Her entire body shook violently and pain coursed through her veins so intensely that she thought she would die by it alone.

Agravaine turned his attention toward Morgana and walked toward her calmly, with long strides. He took a knife from the table and when he'd reached Morgana, she looked up at him with only hatred in her eyes. There was no fear, no fear at all when Agravaine lowered the razor-sharp blade toward her neck.

Her pale-green eyes followed the deadly weapon and widened when it touched the skin on her neck. She averted her eyes, looking up at the ceiling instead. _Merlin, I'm so sorry._ she thought when she felt the steel cutting into her skin. _I love you so much._ she closed her eyes and waited, a soft sob escaping through her lips.

Suddenly, the blade on her neck was gone. She felt a droplet of blood trickling down her skin, but the deadly blade no longer rested on her skin. Morgana didn't want to open her eyes just yet, confident that it was just one of his games, to make her feel hopeful so that he could crush that hope.

But she could hear something heavy crashing into a wall and she couldn't ignore the sound of breaking and splintering wood. When she opened her eyes and craned her neck, she could see Agravaine, laying in a heap on the floor. Her eyes darted toward Merlin and she saw him.

Her eyes widened when she saw him standing in the middle of the room. His shoulders were straightened proudly. His head was held high. Realization crashed through her even before Agravaine called him by his name.

'Ah, Emrys. So stupid of me to think that you were dead.'

Merlin blinked and ignored the comment. He watched when Agravaine crawled to his feet slowly, testing every muscle and carefully putting weight onto his feet. His eyes followed Agravaine's every movement when the man made his way toward him.

Agravaine was guarded and didn't dare to come any closer than eight metres. They looked at each other, studying each other to find their weak spots. Finally, it was Merlin who spoke first.

'I am Emrys, king of Druids. Manservant of king Arthur, the Once and Future King. The Last Dragonlord. And they say that I am Lady Morgana's destiny and doom. I will certainly be _your_ doom, Agravaine. Your power over Morgana ends here, as do your days on this Earth.'

While he spoke, his tone became lower, more dangerous, more cruel. His eyes had darkened and a cruel smirk spread over his face. Agravaine paled and took a step back. 'Not so fast.' Merlin said while he stretched out a hand. His eyes flashed golden dangerously and bound Agravaine to his place.

The man couldn't move, not even an inch. His eyes widened and for the first time Merlin recognized the fear in his eyes. Merlin knew no place for fear. He felt only hatred and the humming darkness that spread through his veins.

He chuckled evilly and pointed at Agravaine. 'You didn't really think that you could keep me captive like this, did you?' he asked, his tone sounding flat and almost bored as he glared at the man that stood before him. His expression was one of boredom, arrogance and hatred all mixed together.

Agravaine couldn't move, couldn't speak. The man couldn't even blink, he was lucky to be able to breathe. Merlin shrugged and waved a hand at Agravaine, only to result in a flood of curse words to be aimed at him. 'How boring.' Merlin muttered as he waved his hand again, silencing Agravaine without much effort.

The young warlock ignored Morgana completely when he circled around Agravaine stealthily, like a predator. Agravaine's eyes followed the young man as best as he could, until he disappeared behind him only to reappear in his sight again a few seconds later.

When Merlin opened his mouth, his tone was low and sinister, laced with cruelty. '_May you die feeling the same pain as the pain that you have inflicted._' the man spoke in the tongue of the Old Religion, his tone almost sincerely as he weaved his web of magic, ready to command him.

'_May every little wound, every drop of poison that you've ever used on your victims be brought back into your body to bring you a violent and long lasting death. May the Darkness that I wield consume you and destroy your soul for all eternity_.'

Morgana shivered behind him. A spear of electric blue lightning sprouted from Merlin's hand palm and collided with the man at full force. The lighting erupted into a ball of white energy, blinding both Merlin and Morgana. The lighting sizzled and melted anything that was closer than three inches. When the blinding light faded away, everything around Agravaine had been burned to a crisp and there was nothing, absolutely _nothing_ left on the place where Agravaine had been standing.

Merlin's shoulders slumped. He felt hollow and cold, his heart was coated in a layer of thick ice. He felt as if someone had destroyed everything that he'd ever cared for. He turned around, his blue eyes sliding over Morgana's body as if he was looking straight through her.

'… Merlin?' Morgana asked hesitatingly, when he advanced on her. She tugged at the ropes that kept her hands and feet bound in vain. Her breaths came in short gasps and her pale green eyes widened in fear when he studied her, his face pale and his expression unreadable.

'Morgana.' he said and his voice caused her to shiver. Not because of arousal, but in fear. He whispered _that_ word to her and her screams echoed through the hovel. Her body lurched upward, hollowing her back until it seemed like her spine would snap.

She trembled in fear when Merlin placed his hand on her chest, just beneath her breasts. He whispered words in the tongue of the Old Religions, words that she didn't understand, words that awakened things that had been buried deep inside her. Long forgotten memories, of her brawls with Uther, sword fights with Arthur, talking to Gwen.

Memories of smouldering looks with Merlin, the way how his eyes seemed to widen, how he licked his lips when he saw her. She saw the guilt in those eyes, she could _feel _it and most of all she felt the magic, _his_ magic that soared through her veins the minute when his hand touched her skin. The Lady gasped and gritted her teeth.

No. There couldn't be magic running through her veins. She felt her bracelet burn and screamed when the skin beneath it started to boil and melt, the power of the Darkness pressing down on her like a thick, smothering blanket. A sob left her lips and her eyes rolled back when the power hit her with full force. _Please. No! Merlin! No… _

**x.X.x JUST A DREAM x.X.x**

Merlin wailed and rubbed the tears out of his eyes. He sat on a chair next to the bed, with his elbows on his knees and his head leaning on his hands. He watched Morgana and couldn't fight the guilt that arose inside him. The bracelet around her wrist was gone. When he'd tried to remove it, he'd realized that it had melted into Morgana's skin.

Terrified, he'd carefully used more magic to soak it off her skin. Then he'd gritted his teeth and tried his best to heal all of her wounds. He was glad that she'd lost consciousness and feared the moment when she'd wake up. The darkness was gone and Merlin was thankful. Though he felt a chill now and then, most of him felt warm and comfortable and the layer of ice around his heart had melted away.

His sigh was filled with relief when her eyelids fluttered and opened. For a few seconds, they just stared at each other, blue eyes to green eyes. Then she tried to sit up and Merlin put a hand on her back to support her. The sheet that he'd wrapped around her fell down and Merlin blushed and looked away.

When he looked up at her again, the sheet was wrapped around her tightly and securely. A small smile played at his lips. 'How are you feeling?' he asked her, his voice uncertain and soft. Morgana look up at him and blinked a few times, biting her lip.

'I feel… fine.' she said carefully. 'But… the last thing I remember… You… and the bracelet, it…' she stumbled over her words and Merlin reached behind him with a hand, showing her the melted silver with an uncertain smile on his face. Her eyes flashed from the bracelet to his eyes. 'Oh.' she whispered. She averted her eyes and looked down at her hands.

Merlin shuffled on his chair uneasily. He didn't know what to do, what to say and Morgana didn't know either. So they just sat in silence, until a sob left Morgana's lips and she threw herself into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her and held her shaking body tightly, resting his head on her shoulder. He swallowed heavily and closed his eyes, whispering soothing words into her ears while he gently stroked her hair.

**x.X.x JUST A DREAM x.X.x  
**

Their bodies moved in unison. His fingers gently brushed over her naked skin, hovering inches above her nipples until she moaned. His lips moved across her jawline, toward her shoulder and down to her breasts, kissing each one lovingly and tenderly. Her hands brushed through his raven-black hair and his tongue swept over her nipples carefully, softly. They hardened under his touch and he admired them in silence before moving on.

Merlin's fingers softly caressed her waist and he took his time to comfort her when she was startled or panicked. Morgana whispered his name softly when his lips trailed over her neck again, her hair tickling and a strand brushing over his closed eyelids. Her hands moved over his bare shoulders and he leaned back to admire her pure beauty.

Morgana opened her eyes and smiled at him. 'Emrys.' she whispered longingly and Merlin smiled back at her. Not long ago he'd taken her outside, shocked when she'd struggled against him when the sunlight had touched her skin. She'd been blinded and scared to death by a feeling that she hadn't experienced for four long years. But now she'd fully recovered and they were ready to make love together for the first time.

She pulled up her knees and spread her legs, all the while gazing into his river blue eyes. Merlin gasped and he felt his body react and his manhood stiffen and shift at the movement that seemed so unimportant but meant so much in its own perfect way. 'Morgana…' Merlin breathed, his voice barely more than a whisper.

'Are you sure?' he asked, afraid of what her answer might be. But she nodded and pushed herself upward on her elbows to plant a soft, but firm kiss on his lips. Merlin nodded silently and positioned himself just outside her pounding core. A moan left her lips and she leaned back in his arms, in anticipation.

He entered her slowly, slipping in carefully. '_Yes._' he heard her whisper and he couldn't keep back a moan of his own when her pelvis rose up at meet him halfway. Merlin put his hands next to her head, one on each side and leaned forward to kiss her on the shoulder. She gasped and he bit softly with just enough pressure to make her shudder.

He pulled back and thrust himself forward seconds after, her moans bringing him pleasure. A scream left his lips when he came and exploded inside her, the world blurring around him and for a moment only he and Morgana existed in the world.

Minutes later they laid in each other's arms. They shared a passionate kiss and Morgana smiled up at him. 'Never leave me.' she whispered, her eyes pressing and desperate. Merlin nodded and smiled at her reassuringly.

_I promise that I'll never leave you. Leave you, leave you… _

Morgana awoke with a gasp, the sheet tightly wrapped around her body. 'Merlin?' she asked while her hand reached out for the empty spot next to her. Her heart pounded against her chest firmly, as if it wanted to jump out. _Agravaine's dead_. she told herself. _He can't hurt me_. The bed was cold. Something was pushed out of the bed by her reaching hand and tinkled on the wooden floor loudly.

She leaned forward and saw the piece of silver, shaped in a circle big enough to fit around her wrist. It was her healing bracelet.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **So was it all a dream? Or was it real? I'll leave that for you to decide! –evil chuckle-


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **So Season 5 has ended. The official, definite end for Merlin the show. I know that I said that I wouldn't continue this story, but there were so many ideas going through my head that I'm basically _forced _to write them all out. Again, this turned out too big, so I decided to make it into another three-part-one-shot.

* * *

**JUST A DREAM PT. 4**

It had been almost a full year since Merlin had rescued Morgana from Agravaine's clutches. In that year, there had been peace and prosperity and Albion had grown out and flourished like Merlin could've never hoped for.

Only three months after Morgana had fully recovered from both her physical and mental wounds, word had come from Camelot. A messenger had been sent to Ealdor, and when he'd returned unsuccessful, the young servant had been ordered to search through every Druid camp in Albion.

The messenger returned a month later, having found nothing. The King and Queen of Camelot were worried enough to hire a sorcerer who could send a message to Merlin by magical means. The letter had arrived on the hovel's doorstep, it's curly written letters reading '_Camelot's court humbly invites you to join in this year's celebrations of peace.'_

He hadn't wanted to leave Morgana.

But she insisted he'd go and eventually he packed his things – well, what remained of them, for he'd found the white mare several hours away from the hovel, probably scared away by Agravaine in case they did manage to break free from their magical shackles – and went out for Camelot. Alone.

He returned to a flourishing city and a flourishing Albion. After having been welcomed by Arthur and the Knights at the gates of Camelot, he was ushered inside.

The first time Gaius saw his many wounds and scars the old physician paled and quickly rummaged through bottles and vials. Morgana had tried to heal his wounds as best as she could with her newly returned magic, but some of them could only be healed by time and care.

Merlin in turn worried deeply for Morgana. Despite everything, she'd insisted on staying in her hovel. If Merlin had been terribly abused for four years, he wouldn't have thought that he would've staid in that place. But he could understand how Morgana felt: for years it had been her only home after she'd lost everything: the man of whom she'd thought he was her father, the brother she hadn't even know she had and her sister, who'd let her spiral into darkness.

He would visit her, every now and then. They would lay down in the soft grass, holding hands, and he would tell her about things in Camelot and how fair and just Arthur was as a King. He would tell her about his concerns for Gwen, how five years had passed and how she still wasn't with child.

Morgana nor Merlin knew how to fix it. There was one option that was dangerous: the power over Life and Death. They both knew the consequences of wielding that power: someone had to die in order for a life to be created. It was in every aspect of Nature: predators killed their prey and their life-forces flowed into that of their killers.

Sometimes their kisses would turn into love-making. But as much as Merlin wanted to stay with her, he couldn't yet abandon Arthur and Camelot. Neither could he leave Gwaine, his best friend. After Merlin returned, older, wiser and hardened by what he'd experienced, the bond between warlock and knight became stronger and stronger.

Gwaine was the only one who knew most of what had happened at Morgana's hovel. He'd told him how he'd found Morgana shackled in magic-restricting ropes and how he'd been captured himself. Gwaine knew that Merlin had killed Morgana's captor, but no-one but Merlin and Morgana themselves knew that it was Agravaine.

Neither did anyone know about what was going on between the two. Sometimes, Gwaine would tease him about it, but it remained just that, teasing. Merlin didn't fear about anyone finding out. Sometimes he felt the need to shout it out to the world, because his heart was filled with a floating sense of joy, but he never did.

Gaius suspected something, though. Merlin tried to contain the occasional humming and whistling that wanted to flood over his lips, but sometimes he found himself in the middle of humming a song or whistling a tune and his guardian would eye him with raised eyebrows. The old man was wise enough not to ask anything, though, for which Merlin was very grateful.

He remained as Arthur's manservant – though the King had _finally_ seemed to learn how to dress himself in Merlin's absence – and a close adviser and Court Sorcerer (Court Warlock just didn't sound as impressive and intimidating as the first).

Sometimes Arthur would question him about what had happened in his absence. He'd happened to be standing on the doorstep when Gaius had examined Merlin's wounds, so saying "Nothing" didn't help at all. Merlin had managed to laugh, shrug his shoulders and mutter something about 'a tough time in the wild'.

The King remained persistent, though and even once tried to force him into more luxurious accommodated chambers in the castle, but Merlin declined, saying that he liked being closer to his guardian, both of them knowing well that the court physician was getting closer and closer to a very old age.

One day Gaius sent Merlin out to pick some rare herbs that were only found days away from Camelot, supplying him with a convenient excuse to slip in a visit to Morgana as well. When he returned, tired from all the walking and herb-picking (not to mention spending time with Morgana, who kindly offered him a place to stay for the night), he found that the King, Queen and court physician had just sent him away to hatch out their plan.

In his room, his ramshackle bed had been replaced with a four-poster bed. A _giant_ four-poster bed.

Merlin shook his head tiredly at the wide grins thrown to him by his friends (Arthur, Gwen, Gaius and the knights) and washed up after they'd left. Though the idea of having a four-poster bed seemed somewhat ridiculous to him at first, the young warlock quickly changed his mind when his head met the soft pillow and he was covered with the softest, warmest blankets and sheets that he'd ever felt.

**x.X.x JUST A DREAM x.X.x**

'Do we _have_ to go to that cold place?' Merlin complained while he shifted uncomfortably on Morgana's white mare. Arthur was once again dragging him along in some kind of mission, as if he were still a servant – which, seeing as all the chores that he was doing, he actually still was – in search for his most loyal knights.

'The place is called Ismere, _Mer_lin. Is-_mere_. It isn't that hard to remember, even with your tiny brain.' the king said, while he rolled his eyes at Camelot's court sorcerer.  
'And yes. We have to find my men.' the king said grimly, before kicking the flanks of his horse and galloping away.

Merlin, even though he understood that finding the missing knights was important, sighed and followed his king.

Knights and men poured into Camelot like a flooded river. They were all tired, and some of them were hurt. Merlin had done his best at healing the most serious and threatening wounds, but healing spells remained tricky and always found their way to turn against him somehow.

He clutched the reigns of his white mare tightly and noticed that Gwaine was looking at him worriedly. 'I'm fine, really.' he reassured the knight, but even he knew that his reassuring smile was not that reassuring at all. Nonetheless, Gwaine nodded and turned his attention to Arthur.

The King was seated grimly on his saddle, holding on to the reigns tightly with one hand and clutching his belly with the other. Even though Merlin had healed him, the pain still remained. The wound was completely healed, but the court sorcerer had explained that it had been healed _too quickly_, and that his body hadn't been able to adjust to it.

The mind was a powerful thing, and Arthur's mind was still convinced that his body was hurt. Thus the King had to deal with pain from a non-existing wound. The blonde man groaned and Merlin flinched, averting his eyes to his mare's manes.

'There's no wound. There's no wound. There's no wound…' Arthur kept repeating, in hopes of getting respite from the pain. Merlin knew it wouldn't work. It would take just as much time for the pain to subside as it would've for the wound to heal naturally. Seeing as it had punctured through the man's liver, Merlin could only hope that a wound like that _could_ heal naturally.

Otherwise he would be responsible for pain that would last until Arthur's death.

But now, Merlin had other things to think about.

His mind was still trying to grasp it as he looked down at his hands and wiped away the faint residue of blood. _Morgana's_ blood.

He still didn't understand what had happened. He and Arthur had been dragged toward an abandoned castle, though they'd managed to escape with some magical help. After escaping, Merlin had tried to convince Arthur to go back to Camelot, but Arthur – claiming that he had the most powerful warlock in the world to protect him – had refused and insisted on saving his men.

Eventually, they had been forced to sneak into the castle, and it's citadel, that was being pulled apart by no-one other than Morgana. She had a league of men under her control, as well as some prisoners, who were forced to hack stones with pickaxes. Percival told them that she was searching for something called the 'Diamere', the key to all knowledge.

Turned out that Gwaine had already found it. The key to all knowledge appeared to be a blue humanoid creature. It had healed Gwaine's wounds – mainly broken ribs and superficial bleedings – with the same effects as Arthur's healed wounds.

And then Aithusa showed up. No-one knew that Merlin was a dragonlord, so when he urged Arthur and Gwaine to leave, they both refused. Eventually Merlin was forced to dash away through tunnels to find Aithusa.

He was shocked to find out that the young white dragon was crippled. It should've been twice the size of what it was now and its wings were certainly too small for its body. Worst of all, Aithusa had tried to burn him to crisps. Just as Merlin was commanding Aithusa to stop and leave, Arthur found them.

The king shook his head at his court sorcerer and pulled the young warlock away, toward the fight that was going on in the mines. In the commotion, Arthur lost track of Merlin and his knights and wandered off into some other tunnels.

There, he found not Merlin, but _Morgana_.

Merlin quickly found them as well, but he was thrown back by her powerful magic. He was too dizzy and his head hurt too much to defend Arthur. At least, that's what he'd told everyone. In truth, he didn't want to hurt Morgana. In any way. Even though she evidently had no problem with hurting _him_, Merlin refused to return the favour.

If it hadn't been for Mordred, Arthur's injuries may have been worse. The druid boy, now a man, had stabbed the witch in the back. Literally. While Merlin was unconscious, Mordred helped Arthur outside.

The Diamere forced Merlin to wake up.

Stunned, he only managed to ask to questions.

'If Mordred isn't Arthur's bane, then who is?'

The answer, he was not pleased with.

'Himself.' the Diamere said, without elaborating at all.

The second question was easier, but perhaps even more painful for Merlin.

'Why has Morgana turned out to be like this?'

The Diamere had looked at him, a hint of sadness in its unworldly eyes, and stared out in the distance. For a few seconds, Merlin wondered if there _was_ no answer to that question and he feared that Morgana was lost to darkness forever.

But finally, the answer came. An answer that caused icy tendrils to wrap itself around Merlin's heart.

But before he let the answer sink in, he stumbled toward Morgana and fell on his knees in front of her unconscious form. He healed her wounds as best as he could and stroked through her hair, admiring her beauty before it would be torn away from him.

'The balance of Nature exists out of two things: The power of Life and Death and Light and Darkness. Both must be balanced out for Magic to exist.'

**x.X.x JUST A DREAM x.X.x**

Later, Mithian of Nemeth showed up in Camelot, with her care-taker, Hilda. The burns on her wrists, along with her nervous behaviour – much like Merlin's when he was experiencing nightmares – lead him to believe that there was more to it, but Arthur didn't share his opinion.

Gaius thought that he worried too much, and sought enemies and magical explanations in everything.

But one night, he found that the door to Mithian's room was opened just a crack, and opened it more widely, expecting to find Mithian in some kind of trouble.

He immediately wished he hadn't.

Asleep on the table, with her arms folded beneath her head, was Morgana Pendragon.

The more rational part of him yelled at him to raise the alarm and bind her hands. But he knew that binding her hands would make her hysterical. So Merlin gulped and looked around. Mithian wasn't in the room. Morgana's hand clutched a comb tightly, and he assumed that Mithian had found her way out without help.

The reason for him to think that was simple: in the time that he and Morgana had spent together, she'd never once used combs. She used hairbrushes, no matter how old, rotten or broken they were.

Painfully slowly, he shoved back the chair, flinching when it made a scraping sound across the floor, and lifted Morgana from her uncomfortable position. He laid her on the bed, pulled back the covers and slid off her boots. Blinking heavily to see through the tears, Merlin pulled the cover over her sleeping form up to her shoulders and tip-toed out of the room.

The next day, guards were sent out to arrest 'Hilda', but there was no trace of neither the elderly lady or the youthful Morgana Pendragon.

**x.X.x JUST A DREAM x.X.x**

Next thing they knew, Gwen was taken away from them. The King, Merlin and the knights rode out the minute that they found out about the Queen's disappearance, red cloaks with golden dragons embroidered on the right side of the breast.

During their frantic quest to find the Queen, the horses threw off Percival and Elyan, who were bitten by venomous snakes seconds after they touched the ground. The quest was put on a hold, as the two wounded knights were hurriedly brought back to Camelot.

The Court Physician examined them, his old eyes not missing the net of red spots and lines that was drawn neatly underneath their skins. The old man turned around to look at Arthur and Merlin pointedly through his reading glasses. 'This is the work of magic. The work of Morgana.'

When Percival and Elyan had recovered, they headed out yet again. They rode through forests inhabited with strange, magical creatures. Apes with three tails, grasshoppers the size of a boot and Arthur was convinced that he even saw a silver-haired woman transform into a lean great cat. Needless to say, no-one, not even Merlin, would believe him.

Then they came to the Impenetrable Forest. The knights joked about the originality of the name, but after half a day of running around in circles and cutting their swords in half on the vines – which Merlin had to melt back into one piece each time – they had stopped their mockery.

At nightfall, when everyone was asleep, Merlin was awakened from his slumber by a voice. It reminded him so much of Kilgharrah that the young warlock smacked himself in the face for not summoning the dragon and ordering him to burn the forest down to a crisp.

He hunted after the creature that had woken him, until he found an unbelievably small pixie-like woman that had poised herself on a vine as if she was ready to have a tea party.

She spoke in riddles first, and when Merlin admitted his frustration with that, she spoke in _rhymes_.  
But, with the riddles and rhymes in the back of his mind, Merlin awakened a new sort of magic, one that allowed him to see the way ahead. The knights and Arthur thought that he was crazy, standing still for a minute before breaking into a vicious run the next, but when he explained it to them, they nodded as though it made sense to them.

Merlin knew it didn't, for he could almost _feel_ them sharing a look and shrugging their shoulders while he was looking ahead again.

They ventured through the forest and finally reached the Tower.

'You know, some say the Tower only exists in our minds.' Merlin opted, while Percival made a rather funny looking face to the humongous blister on his foot.  
The King rolled his eyes, while Gwaine barked a laugh and hopped from one foot on another, trying to determine which blistered foot would be the best to carry his weight.  
'So you're saying that my wife is trapped in an imaginary tower?' he asked incredulous. Merlin just shrugged his shoulders and they went off again.

He wished they'd never entered the Dark Tower. After blocking all the arrows that came shooting out of booby-traps – and healing the one that had slid through Percival's leg, surprising everyone – they hurried up the many stairs that lead to the highest chamber, but somehow Elyan got separated from them.

While Merlin, Arthur, Gwaine and Percival were trying to reach the chamber, but unwillingly venturing off in the wrong direction, Elyan did find his sister.

Perhaps if Arthur had been there, he would've noticed how strange his wife was acting.  
The words 'Morgana put this sword here to protect me.' sounded like they prophesized trouble and bloodshed that was yet to come.

They did just that.

By the time Arthur found Gwen, she was slouched over her brother's body, crying uncontrollably. The King comforted her and called the remaining knights to get them out of the tower. Not even one of them paused to spare a thought about the King's manservant, who was trying to figure out how the booby-traps worked.

Merlin stumbled upon the highest chamber by accident, and was just about to leave when the door was smashed closed in his face. He whirled around again, only to be met with complete and utter darkness.

And then the horror and the pain-ridden screams began.

Hours later, the door was opened and Morgana strode in. She found Merlin, curled up in a ball on the ground, barely conscious. The dark-haired lady crouched on the ground in front of him and shook her head, her expression unreadable, but her lips quivering with emotions that her eyes dared not to betray.

Merlin's feverish dreams were filled with confusing and horrifying fragments. One moment he and Morgana were fighting, to kiss passionately and make love with a lot of pain and blood involved the next, only for him to be alone and trashing against invisible imaginary enemies after that. Ghosts of the past visited him, everyone who'd betrayed, everyone who'd known about his magic _before_ Arthur had lifted the ban.

They whispered things, but the most disturbing presence, above all, was Lancelot. The former knight watched over him, his expression unreadable, his eyes fixed on Merlin in a way that could only lead to hurt and despair. 'What have you done, Merlin?' the ghost asked, illuminated by the blue light that his form was basking in. Lancelot leaned in until he was mere inches away from Merlin's head.

'What will you do to safe everyone you hold dear? Will you pay the price of darkness or the price of light? Will you forsake the warmth of the light and choose for the shadows of the darkness? Can you bear the thought of losing your friends, or your mistress? Or will you finally learn that none of this is worth it?'

Merlin snapped out of his feverish dreams, his eyes snapping open with fire burning behind his irises. He immediately registered that he wasn't on the cold stone floor anymore, but in what felt like an enormous, soft bed. Sure enough, when he looked around, he saw curtains that shielded anyone in the majestic four-poster bed from the world.

But he wasn't alone. Hidden from the invisible candlelight that lit the room from behind the curtains, Merlin could see her form. The coal black hair that graced over her shoulders, the warm, ruby red dress she wore, to the amber reflection that her healing bracelet formed in the flames.

'That room wasn't meant for you.' she whispered, while Merlin pulled himself up so that he could sit against the many pillows that covered the headboards.

'For who was it meant then?' Merlin asked, his voice, too, sounding soft and resigned. Morgana sighed and glanced over her shoulder at him, in silence. When she finally spoke, her voice was filled with relief. 'So the influence of the Mandrake wasn't enough to break you. I feared that I was too late to save you.'

Merlin's brows furrowed as he wondered what exactly she'd been trying to save. It sounded like it had been merely an accident that he'd ended up in that room.

'Well, a little root can't break me _that_ easily.' Merlin said, finding that his lips formed a cocky smile without his consent. One eyebrow was lifted as well, which Merlin was sure would contribute to the expression on his face.

Morgana could barely keep back a chuckle and a smile when she turned around, her legs hanging off the bed. 'I didn't expect it too. But I was worried nonetheless.' she said. Merlin realized that she sounded so much like the Lady Morgana, the lady who'd lived in Camelot _before _Morgause, _before_ she'd found out that she was Uther's daughter. It caused a pang of pain to go through his heart.

He reached out for her hand and felt relieved when her fingers wove through his. She, and whatever the connection was that they shared, was still there. 'Morgana-' he began, but she cut him off by placing her finger on his mouth.

'Shh…' she whispered, before her finger was replaced by her lips. Merlin's eyes widened, before his eyelids dropped and he deepened their kiss. Their tongues danced in harmony, brushing over lips and teeth and each other. He wished that he could hold on to this moment forever, that he could bottle this precious feeling and the passion that rippled against them, for when she wouldn't be there anymore.

Before long, their clothes laid forgotten on the floor, and his tongue caressed her neck and breasts and just about any bodily surface that was reachable. Their magic, that reacted in a violent and explosive manner, caused pillows to rip open and feathers to descend upon the bed like snow from the clouds.

He could feel Morgana's passion and lust through their connection, but he didn't know just how _big_ it was until she pushed his head toward the inside of her thighs, refusing to let go and holding him there with an iron grip.

Merlin thought about freeing himself with magic, but in this state, he knew that it would probably act far more violent than he intended it to. If he'd want to give her a little shove, he would most likely blow her against a wall or something like that.

He closed his eyes and gave butterfly kisses on the inside of her thighs, slowly edging closer toward her core. He kissed the moist lips and teased her with his tongue, working around her sensitive areas and prolonging her suffering. Her gasps, moans and shivers told him that he was getting too close, or that he was too far away from sensitive spots and he used that as guidance.

Eventually, he flicked his tongue over her most sensitive spot and felt her shudder. A long, desperate sounding wail left her lips as she came and the salty taste that Merlin got on his tongue almost worked like an aphrodisiac, exciting him to the core of his being.

Being on the floor on his knees, looking up at Morgana felt bizarre. She was positioned on the bedside, her legs spread open so that he had all the space he needed. When their eyes met, Merlin felt as though there was some kind of deeper understanding and trust between them, but he couldn't put his finger on what it was exactly.

'Come.' she whispered, patting the spot next to her. When Merlin got up to sit next to her, he found himself ambushed by a passionate bundle of naked skin and soft, raven-black hair. A lot more moans, panting and shudders followed as their bodies became one.

Merlin was awoken by the sound of a door cracking open. His eyelids fluttered, but he felt so sleepy and just wanted to stay in the bed for a little longer. He assumed that it was Morgana who was leaving the chamber, but the warmth and the soft skin that his fingertips brushed past convinced him otherwise.

He cracked his eye open a few inches and promptly – _incidentally _– pushed Morgana out of the bed. She landed on the wooden floor, shielded by the bed. He heard a muffled '_Ouch!_', but he was occupied by the man standing in the doorway. The _knight_ standing in the doorway.

'_Gwaine_?' Merlin asked, his mouth hanging open, forming an almost comical 'o' shape. _Oh God._ he thought while he smiled at Gwaine lopsidedly, in an attempt to save this. He looked over his shoulder to see Morgana frantically looking up at him, her bottom lip quivering. And then Merlin suddenly remembered that he was completely _naked_.

His head shot back to Gwaine and he felt heat rising to his cheeks, even though he was covered by a thick blanket 'Uh…'

'Relax. Gwen told us everything.' the knight said, holding up his hands in a gesture that made it clear that he meant no harm.

'She… she did?' Morgana asked uncertainly. She half-pushed herself off the ground so that she could look over the bed. Gwaine nodded.

'Yeah, everything. 'Bout the bracelet-' Merlin's head shot in her direction, both eyebrows lifted. Morgana just shrugged apologetically. _I just needed someone to talk to. I think_. her voice sounded in his mind. Merlin nodded. _I can understand that, especially after everything you've been through_. Merlin thought back soothingly. Their telepathic conversation was interrupted by an amused chuckle.

The young warlock glanced at Gwaine, who was standing there obviously feeling quite awkward. 'Repeat the last thing I said.'

'_Excuse me?'_ Merlin asked, feeling rather confused.

'Repeat the last thing I said.'

'"Repeat the last thing I said"?' Morgana supplied helpfully, though mockingly at the same time. Gwaine rolled his eyes while Merlin just grinned.

'Obviously, you two were too busy _staring_ at each other like you were ready to jump at each other to listen to me.' Merlin and Morgana blushed at the same time, whilst Merlin looked a bit more guilty than her.

'If you _had_ listened to me, you would've heard me say that Gwen told us about the enchanted sword.' Gwaine said, whilst rolling his eyes again. Merlin and Morgana exchanged looks of equal confusion.

'Cornelius Sigan's sword?' Gwaine asked after a minute of awkward silence.

'The sword that he enchanted to eliminate whoever drew their sword against it?'

'Oh, _that_ sword!' Merlin said. _Just play along!_ he urged Morgana telepathically.

'Sigan's sword. Of course. Who could've known that it had been enchanted? _I_ certainly didn't feel it.' she said, ever the actress. Merlin suddenly understood why no-one but him had seen through her façade, it was like a wall made of steel, unbreakable, never crumbling or even splintering.

'Gwen asks if you two would like to come back to Camelot.' Gwaine said, breaking the silence.

_Back to Camelot?_ Morgana asked frantically in his mind. Merlin could feel her anxiety, the panic that caused her heart to beat quickly, the jolt of surprise and hope that caused their emotions to get tangled together to the point that Merlin could hardly feel where his emotions begin and where hers ended.

_You can start over_. Merlin told her, suddenly feeling very confident. This could work. This _would_ work. He would make sure of it. He would give her the second chance that she needed so badly. He reached over to slip his fingers through hers and they smiled at each other, almost forgetting that Gwaine was in the chamber.

Gwaine coughed loudly, drawing their attention back to them.

'Shouldn't you guys put on some _clothes_ first?'


	5. Chapter 5

**Pfff… Glad this is finally finished. It isn't the last piece, of course. Obviously there's more to follow. Much more than I ever intended to, seeing the end of this chapter. Oh my, how am I ever going to get myself out of the mess that I've created? **

**As for writing, I might just take a sabbatical for a month or three. My school has given me a doubful advice on whether or not I can get to the next year. Seeing as everything can be saved with a little bit more practice, I'm not that worried. But school and doing things time-consuming (like writing fanfiction or watching series like Merlin, Beauty and The Beast, stuff like that) just can't be combined in my book. So, until school's over and I made it to the next year (or another training, for, say, dietician or something like that) I'm going to give up ****BOTH****. In doing so, I will have plenty of time left for school. **

**So, see you 'till school's over.**

**JUST A DREAM PT. 5**

Morgana shuddered against his chest, he felt it going through her entire body. He held her tightly and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, but it didn't seem to reassure her at all. _It's going to be fine, Morgana. No-one's going to hurt you, I promise. _he said, and when hearing his voice, Morgana turned around and attempted to smile at him. It looked more like a grimace.

_I'm not so sure about that. What if the people want to see me tortured, or executed?_ she asked, unable to ward the panic out of her voice. Merlin found his hand squeezing hers a bit too tightly at the mention of torture, but once he noticed it, he forced his fingers to relax. _I won't let them. _he said firmly, and they both knew that he was right.

'Come on Morgs, everything's gonna be fine.' Gwaine contributed, turning halfway on his horse in a rather dangerous manoeuvre so that he could look at them. His brown eyes twinkled with amusement. Morgana rolled her eyes at him and Merlin couldn't help but laugh at the way she scoffed at him.

'Stop calling me Morgs or you'll be a toad.' she threatened. Gwaine only laughed and shook his head. 'How're you going to get to Camelot when your guide's a reptile?' he asked humorously. The dark-haired warlock felt magic bubble to the surface of her skin and was about to warn her, just when Gwaine's horse seemed to be spooked by something and threw his rider off.

With a loud _thud_, Gwaine landed in the mud on his back. The knight made a face and scrambled to his feet hastily, wiping the dirt off his coat, whilst throwing Morgana a foul look.

'You asked for it.' Morgana said smugly at the dirty knight. Gwaine rolled his eyes and clambered back on his horse, which stomped on the grass uneasily. 'By no doubt.' Merlin heard Gwaine mutter, and the young warlock couldn't help but chuckle.

Merlin 'magicked' (as Gwaine liked to call it) the dirt and mud from Gwaine's clothes and grinned when the knight's eyes widened.

'Merlin, magic me some ale would'ya?'

The young warlock sighed and shook his head in disapproval.

**X.x.X JUST A DREAM X.x.X**

Arthur was apparently informed about their arrival, for the King met them at the gates. Morgana shifted uneasily in front of Merlin on their horse, and stiffened when her half-brother made his way toward them. Merlin himself unconsciously fastened his clutch on the reigns, ready to take off would it be needed. Things calmed down, though, when Arthur offered Morgana his hand and helped her off the horse.

'My wife has told me about the things that you've had to endure, Morgana. I'm sorry. I should've sent out a patrol or something.' the King said, his forehead creasing into a frown. Morgana smiled at him reassuringly, seemingly right back into her role as Lady, and now, sister of the King as well.

'Send out a patrol to see if your enemy is doing well? You never cease to surprise me, brother, even after five years.' she said mockingly. Merlin saw Arthur cringe a bit at the mention of 'brother', but seeing as Uther had never acknowledged her until it had been too late, he thought that it was only fair that she mentioned their blood-bond. Gwaine interrupted them by slamming his arm over Merlin's shoulder, announcing loudly that they were headed to the tavern to celebrate.

**x.X.x JUST A DREAM x.X.x**

Merlin hurried through the corridors of the castle, directing other servants as to where their destination was and what they needed to take with them. Most servants carried bouquets of colourful flowers, others carried jugs with water and wine. Merlin himself carried something of which the content was a mystery to everyone other than himself and Gwen. He'd asked her to help him, finding himself at loss with the many different fabrics, colours and all the other things that were involved when one was trying to pick out a dress for a royal lady.

He cringed when he saw the townsfolk eyeing Morgana warily. Though Arthur and the Queen seemed to believe that Morgana had turned around from wanting to destroy Camelot, many believed that she'd simply enchanted them in the week that she'd resided in the castle. Arthur had offered her her old room to stay in, but to everyone's surprise, she'd declined and announced that she'd rather sleep in Merlin's room. _With_ Merlin.

Needless to say, the young warlock's cheeks flushed a bright crimson, leaving him to explain _a lot_ to Arthur about why his sister would rather sleep in a tiny room instead of moving back into her old chambers. After hastily stuttering an explanation that sounded somewhat like 'Wereinloveanditsnoneofyourbu sinessreally' he took off, running after Morgana who'd conveniently left him alone with Arthur and Guinevere.

'So, when are you getting married?' Gwaine asked, peering over Merlin's shoulder in an attempt to have a sneak peak of whatever it was that Merlin had folded in thick, white sheets. Merlin's cheeks flared up a bright crimson and he laughed uncomfortably.

'Because, that's one _hell_ of a big wedding ring, believe me. It'd probably fit _around_ her.' Gwaine said, pointing at the sheets nonchalantly. 'Not that she's fat or anything, because she's not. She's pretty, really.' Merlin rolled his eyes at Gwaine and mumbled something under his breath.

'What was that?' Gwaine asked, while he cocked his head to the side and leaned closer toward Merlin in an attempt to hear him better. Merlin sighed and gave Gwaine a little shove with his magic. The knight's feet, however, got caught under the carpet and he fell face-first on the floor. Some chuckles could be heard around them and he was pretty sure that he heard Percival laugh.

The young warlock took the opportunity and dashed off toward the physician's quarters, leaving an embarrassed Gwaine behind.

**X.x.X JUST A DREAM X.x.X**

On the night of the royal banquet, to celebrate the return of Morgana Pendragon, Merlin felt as nervous as though he really _were_ asking Morgana to marry him. He wasn't, of course, because… it was a little late for that, seeing as they'd shared beds more times than he cared to count. Perhaps they would marry one day, but that would be _after_ she was accepted by the whole of Camelot and not just the royal household.

'Morgana child, what brings you here?' Gaius asked, and the way he asked it reminded Merlin of the first time that he'd met her. _Officially _met her, that is. After everything they'd been through, the idea that she'd mistaken him for Gwen that day and had asked him to tie her laces (something that he did every day now, for she hadn't yet gotten a servant) seemed comical.

The old man looked up from his work, holding some kind of bottle over a fire and watching its contents sizzle and boil and looked up at Morgana. The lady smiled kindly at him and nodded at Merlin, who was flipping through pages of his first magic book. The book had long since become below his level of magic, but Merlin enjoyed holding it and reading through old spells, that he could perform now _without_ the actual spell.

'Your bench is on fire.' Morgana said, flashing Merlin a smile that dazzled him. Gaius grinned at the old joke and shook his head. 'My bench is on fire…. My bench is on fire!' the old man repeated while watching the flames that licked at the wooden bench with wide eyes. Before he even had time to reach for a cloth to swat it out with, a whoosh of wind blew through the chamber and killed the flames.

'Ah Merlin, thank you. Good to see that there are actual _useful_ things that you use your magic for.' Gaius said. Merlin frowned. 'Eh… That wasn't me. That was Morgana, actually.'

'Oh!' Gaius said, sounding surprised. He patted Morgana on her shoulder, causing the lady to smile. 'Well, thank you then. What exactly were you doing here again?'

Merlin shook his head and grinned. 'You're getting more and more forgetful, Gaius. She _lives_ here, remember?' he teased.

'Well, then _you _go on and tell me what she's here for, apart from _living_, if you're so smart.' Gaius taunted him. The young warlock frowned and looked at Morgana, barely holding back the smile that would betray that he had no idea why she was in the quarters.

_Picking up a draft that should heighten Gwen's chances of bearing a child._ Morgana whispered in his mind. Merlin suddenly found himself being stuck with a rather displeasing image in his mind and grimaced.

'She's here to pick up a… draft for Gwen.' Merlin told Gaius nonchalantly.

_And one for Arthur as well._

'And one for… _Arthur_? Why on Earth does Arthur need a draft…. _Oh_.' Merlin grimaced and shook his head, trying to forget about what he'd just heard.

'It's simply a draft to increase both their fertility, Merlin. It's not always a woman's fault.' Gaius told him in a teacher-y voice. Merlin's forehead wrinkled and wished that he hadn't heard_ that_ either.

'And communicating telepathically doesn't count, you know that.' Gaius said. 'It's impolite when there's other people in the room, not to mention that it's extremely rude when those people don't possess any form or sign of magic, and…' the old man lectured.

_Time to get out of here._ Merlin told Morgana. While Gaius was rummaging through bottles and vials, with his back toward them, Merlin snatched the needed bottles from the bench and they snuck out of the chambers unnoticed by his guardian.

**x.X.x JUST A DREAM x.X.x**

Merlin stood behind Arthur's chair, jug of wine in hand, ready to refill the King's goblet whenever it ran dry. It was only due to his magic that Arthur was able to drink as much as he did without getting more than just fuddled. Sometimes, he did it to Gwaine's ale as well, but the knight always seemed to notice and had once _threatened_ him with his sword to undo his magic. Of course, he wouldn't have actually been hurt, but still, it was an experience that Merlin wouldn't have minded missing in his life.

The big wooden doors were opened, and Morgana stepped through them. Merlin smiled smugly when he saw several heads turn her way. Mouths gaped open and he could even see Arthur blink several times in amazement. And he knew why.

The dress that she wore was almost an exact replica of the red dress that she'd worn to the celebrations of peace when Uther had still been king and Thomas Collins had been executed. Only this dress _shimmered_ with a thousand magical lights. They looked like little red stars, and Merlin was very pleased with his work. Her hair was put up by Gwen's maidservant, Sefa, and Merlin couldn't help but agree that she looked absolutely stunning.

'Uh… The Lady Morgana has arrived.' Arthur announced once he'd seemed to get over the shock of seeing his sister in the dress. He whipped his head around to look at Merlin. 'Escort her to our table.' he hissed urgently.

Merlin hurried toward Morgana and said 'My Lady.' while offering her his hand. She smiled and took it, walking toward the royal table with him. He quickly shoved back her chair and shoved it back toward the table when she was seated comfortably.

'I haven't got the chance to thank you yet, for the dress.' Morgana whispered to him. Merlin smiled and waved it away. 'It's all right.' he said, but Morgana shook her head and gestured for him to come closer. Merlin made the mistake of leaning toward her and found himself drawn into a rather passionate kiss. Arthur chuckled, and when they ignored the King, Arthur made a show of coughing loudly, drawing _everyone's_ attention toward the kissing couple.

Merlin finally managed to tear his lips from Morgana's, because she seemed perfectly content at keeping him right there. He blushed violently and cast his eyes toward the ground so that he wouldn't have to see how the people reacted.

'Good, now that that's finished, we can get on to _actual business_.' the King said with a chuckle, causing everyone to laugh. Merlin's cheeks became even redder and he was sure that he felt his ears became warmer too.

_I wasn't finished yet._

Merlin blinked and _tried_ to keep his attention to Arthur's speech, but it was hard when Morgana was distracting him. Not to mention how her fingers caressed his arms, his waist, his thighs….

_You know, I could do this all evening. All night, even. I bet I could exhaust you, easily. Hmmm… I'm going to make work of that, definitely. _

Merlin bit his lip while Morgana's hand brushed up and down his side. Where she touched him, his skin tingled and he could barely concentrate with all the _heat_ that her touches caused. At the same time he was intrigued at this seemingly whole new side of her. But he was sure that it would cause him some trouble later, if she was planning on doing this every council meeting or celebration.

At some point, Merlin noticed that Gwen began looking more and more displeased with something. He just couldn't put his finger on what it was exactly, but he thought that she looked rather uninterested in what was happening around her. Whenever Arthur talked to her, she just nodded and then her eyes would glaze over when she looked in a different direction.

She seemed rather absentminded and Merlin wondered what was wrong. When Arthur's goblet ran dry Merlin filled it again, and he heard people making jokes, laughing and dancing. Gwen leaned her head on her hand, her elbow on the table and stared off in the distance.

_Morgana?_

The celebrations continued with sorcerers from all over the kingdom. They did spells and conjured up objects and sprites and Merlin decided that he would ask some to stay in Camelot so that he could teach them. That young girl with shy blue eyes radiated with vibrations that Merlin identified as a potentially strong healer…

_Morgana?_

His back straightened more when Garren, another sorcerer from Camelot, began working on a complicated spell. It reminded him of Mary Collins' sleeping aria, but instead of inducing a deep sleep his spell created a relaxing fog in the chamber. Almost automatically, Merlin wove a web of protective magic around the King, Queen and Morgana to keep them safe…

_Morgana!_

The Queen seemed even more distractive and accidentally knocked over her goblet of wine. The red liquid drenched the tablecloth, looking eerily much like blood. It dripped off the table, onto the wooden floor, forming a crimson red puddle on the ground. Merlin looked down at it and saw his own red reflection looking down worriedly.

_**Morgana!**_

It was the fourth time that he'd called her name now, and she still didn't reply. Her hand, that had been laying still on his hip at the first time, now squeezed tightly. Her nails scraped over his skin and Merlin would've noticed the pain if he hadn't been watching both her and Gwen. Gwen seemed awfully bored and absentminded, taking a sip of wine and a bite of food now and then, while Morgana seemed to be struggling with something.

The Lady was silent, watching the preforming sorcerers with hollow eyes. Everything, from the way she watched to her bodily position, told him that she was ready to… to do _something_. He could feel the magic that had bubbled up underneath her skin, which was surprisingly intense and strong, and felt his own magic reacting to it. He didn't know what was wrong with her, or Gwen, but he knew that it wasn't good.

_Morgana? Talk to me! Please!_

She turned around and looked at him, her skin pale, her eyes hollow. Their usual pale green colour seemed darker now, and her expression… it caused every hair on Merlin's skin to stand erect. He saw the turmoil, the struggle of whatever that was going on inside her. She was fighting _something_, he just couldn't understand _what_.

He widened their telepathic connection and felt what she felt. He felt the incredible power that she was struggling with. Her powers had been unchained unnaturally and her healing bracelet had set things in motion that she hadn't been strong enough to deal with yet. Her whole inner being, her soul, seemed to be a big gaping hole of darkness that would never end…

It was as if he was being submerged into ice-water. The endless darkness that spiralled within Morgana, that was barely contained by what little good that was left in her, affected him too. He wanted to investigate it deeper, to find its source or a solution for it, but he feared that he himself would be lost forever if he went deepened their connection.

_Merlin, stop. _

Nonetheless, he seemed to be unable to tear himself away from the raw powers that were there. He knew that those powers, no matter how dark they were, could do great things. They could destroy and creature, cause illness or heal, kill or save. The possibilities were endless, even more so if they were to combine their powers. In a way, after all, they were the same. They were Light and Darkness, love and hatred. They shared the same powers, but in a way those powers were the complete opposite of each other.

_Merlin! Stop, stop doing that. Stop fighting. There's nothing you can about it. I have to deal with this myself, even if that means being lost forever. _

Her voice eventually snapped him out of the trance that he was in. He blinked a couple of times before he finally realized that Arthur was looking at him strangely. Merlin sighed and managed to smile sheepishly at the King.

'I believe that you and my sister should be excused.'

**x.X.x JUST A DREAM x.X.x **

Merlin extinguished the last candle flame in his room and laid down next to Morgana. Her skin radiated body heat through the thin fabric of her nightgown. The intense magical battle that he'd encountered within Morgana had killed the flirty mood that had been between them during the celebrations. Now, they were silent. Merlin was pondering about ways to fix this – to fix her.

He remembered what the Diamere had said and tried to tell himself that there was indeed nothing that could be done about it. Light was in existence, and so was Darkness. The one thing couldn't exist without the other to balance it out, and yet they were in a constant battle to kill the other. To Merlin it seemed like life was thanking him for everything that he'd done by just about rendering everything that he'd done to save Morgana useless.

_Stop thinking about it. _Morgana told him, but Merlin couldn't. He bit his lip, whilst trying to fight back tears. He knew that Morgana would notice it if he were crying and she would only think that she was the cause for his grief. In a way, she was, but Merlin also knew that he had himself to thank for feeling so much pain and heartache. He condemned something that was only just in existence.

_I can't._ Merlin admitted finally. He sighed deeply and blinked away the moisture in his eyes. _This is my fault._

Morgana shook her head. 'Look me in the eye.'

Their eyes locked. Blue to green. Warlock to witch. Magic to magic. Wasn't that what it was all about? Hadn't that been how all this began? With magic? Magic and Uther's hatred of it? They'd been through so much together, in just five years, and even now they seemed to be back at the beginning already. As if none of it had ever mattered.

'None of this is your fault. You didn't know that _I_ didn't know about the enchantment. I didn't know about my sister's intentions, I thought she cared about me. If this is anyone's fault, then it's Uther's. But he lost Arthur's mother to magic, who was he to know that it could also be used for good?'

Merlin decided that, hearing her look at Uther through open eyes and not through judgemental ways, perhaps things had mattered after all.

'I always used to think that I would grow up and marry a man, a prince even. Everything was thrown in my lap, even though I'd think that I wasn't spoiled. But life doesn't always turn out the way we expect it to be. Who would want to marry me now?'

Merlin made a split decision at that moment. He held his hand behind his back and used a silent, elemental spell, hoping that it would turn out better than the last time that he'd tried to conjure an object out of thin air. He held his hand out in front of him, closed in a fist, and Morgana looked at with a frown on her face.

He opened his fist, revealing a golden ring resting in his hand palm. A single, small emerald served as decoration.

'I would.'


	6. Chapter 6

_**One**_

_**Two**_

_**Three**_

_**Four**_

_**Five**_

_**Six**_

**It should've ended there. It really should have. But the story writes itself, the characters make their own rules and my mind just keeps on giving me an endless stream of ideas. At the very beginning of the story, I was certain that there would only be three chapters. I was ready, prepared even, to leave it at that. But then I decided to continue it. It were meant to be three more chapters. I was prepared to keep it at that, too. But, some fantasies are meant to be turned into stories, and some of those stories deserve to be written and shared. This is one of those stories. **

**JUST A DREAM – PT. 6**

'_By the power vested in me, I, Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot, bind you together as husband and wife. You are no longer two individuals on this earth, from now on, you are one.'_

* * *

**XXX JUST A DREAM XXX  
**

* * *

**XXX JUST A DREAM XXX  
**

* * *

The world had become a dark place. Dark clouds reigned the skies, thunder dominated all other sounds and lightning whipped at the world, it's bright yellow tongues licking over the ground. Arthur and Merlin stood next to each other, both in their everyday clothing, both staring up at the sky in silent dread. Every day was a matter of survival now. Every day, it came down to a physical and mental fight with the powers that hung in the sky, that vibrated through the air, that slithered around life in every form.

It tormented the earth, it tormented every city and every village. It caused innocent hearts to fill with fear and dread. A bolt of lightning collided with the earth and the ground shook, shuddering beneath the force of nature. Remnants of stones and bricks rained down on their heads together with rain, foreboding what was to come.

Camelot laid in ruins. The earth was dominated by chaos. The air swelled up with Light and Darkness. The power of Life and Death enveloped the earth as a thick cloak. The time to act was now.

**X.x. MONTHS EARLIER.X.x.X  
**

'Ah, Garren, there you are.' the Queen of Camelot said while she strode into the sorcerer's chamber silently, her pastel coloured dress billowing up around her feet. Her face was sympathetic, a kind smile plastered on it. To an outsider it would seem like this was a friendly visit, perhaps a check-up to see how the apprentice was doing with his work on magic. But to the Queen, it wasn't.

The dark-haired sorcerer looked up from his work, what looked like a complicated design of lines and forms, and smiled at the queen. The smile reached his dark-grey eyes, and his hand absent-mindedly went up to brush a stray strand of brown hair out of his eyes. The young man wore clothes of the finest qualities, his shirt and cloak being woven and seamed by the best weavers and seamstresses in the region. His boots were made of the strongest leather, caught by the best hunters. Seeing his whole form, his hair would be the only thing that looked out of place. It was thick, a deep brown and ran rampant on his head. Locks fell into his face and always returned whenever they were brushed back. It was too long and seemed to have a mind of its own when it came to styling.

'How can I be of service today, my Queen?' Garren asked with a grin on his face. He brushed the web of papers aside before rolling them into neat scrolls, securing them with a silver thread. In the candlelight, his chambers looked smaller than they were in reality. They consisted out of three rooms. One main room, where the sorcerer did his work and studies, a bedroom, dominated by a large four-poster bed with sheets of the finest cotton, and a bathroom, with a latrine and a porcelain bath.

'It was whispered in my ear that you craft certain potions and weave enchantments into them.' the queen stated simply. The young sorcerer looked up, his eyes suddenly sparked with interest and curiosity. He hoped that this wasn't yet another request from Gaius to craft another fertility-stimulating potion. The _great and mighty_ Emrys seemed to be unable to recreate the potions in such way that they were of any use, and so all the work had befallen on _his_ shoulders. Fertility potions were not a part in his field that he enjoyed, instead he found them unchallenging and boring.

'What my Queen wishes, my Queen receives.' he answered shortly, never one for curtseying and politeness. To him, it was just a show of formality that was in no way true. Noblemen and royals pretended to be interest in the other's affairs and businesses, while in fact they were only thinking about their warm, comfortable chambers and the hidden strong-spirit drinks underneath their beds.

It needn't be said that Garren didn't fancy noblemen or royalty. They had never treated him right, had only seen the young, starved boy that he'd been in the streets of Camelot. He was smart enough that when he learned of his gifts, his magical powers, that he kept them hidden, safely locked away deep in his heart. He had contemplated on hurting those who had hurt him, destroying those that had destroyed him, but after a night of deep thinking, he had wisely decided that it wouldn't change a single thing. Magic was banned in Camelot, it would've gotten him killed before he could've even set foot in the giant castle of Camelot.

It intrigued him that the queen, instead of simply stating her wishes, peeked outside the door and looked left and right if anyone was near. He straightened his shoulders a little more and perked up, interested, when she closed the door and locked it. He waited patiently for the queen to state her business, as she seemed drawn to hold her hand above a candle flame and see how she would last before instinct forced her to pull it back.

It irritated him that she took her time to study the backs of the various magic books that he possessed, on almost every subject one could find. She pulled back a thick book about alchemy and opened it somewhere in the middle, making a sound when she realized that it was written in a language that she wouldn't know or understand. Garren opened his mouth to protest, for his fingers itched to punish those that touched his books without his permission, but he closed it again when the queen closed the book and placed it back on its shelf.

'It is in my understanding that you can craft a potion, or an amulet or poultice, to wipe out certain memories?' she asked, putting effort to make her tone sound casual, uninterested even. But Garren knew otherwise, he knew that she was in fact interested. He knew that she must've looked into a book of magic, and a thick one at that, if she knew that it was possible for magic to destroy memories.

But he also knew that he had to watch his step, he had to be very careful about how he answered this question. Perhaps the queen wanted information on the extent of his powers, perhaps she wanted to know the possibilities of magic in general, since Garren believed that only he, Emrys, and a few other truly powerful beings knew about it. He knew that Morgana, now Merlin's wife - undeniably making Merlin a Pendragon through marriage - had been mentored by her half-sister for more than a year, but he didn't know how much she'd been taught.

'My Lady', Garren asked carefully, contemplating about every word. 'What are you truly asking of me?' The queen had now turned her attention elsewhere, studying daggers. She reached her hand and clasped it around his favourite dagger, with a golden heft shaped as a raindrop and a copper blade in the shape of a long feather. It had always reminded him of an eagle, as did the man which he'd stolen it from when he was young. That man hadn't possessed any knowledge about sword- or knife fighting at all, nor had he known any fighting techniques. From a distance, Garren had known that it was the kind of man that hired others do to their dirty works. In Garren's opinion, that man had no right to possess a weapon like that and so he'd simply taken it from him.

He was certain that the man hadn't missed it, ever.

'I'm simply seeking for a wedding gift.' Guinevere said with an innocent smile on her face. Garren tilted his head to the side and squinted his eyes at Camelot's queen. Had he just heard that right, or had his ears betrayed him? 'I'm in need of a device so powerful that it will wipe out an entire lifetime's worth of memories.' the sentence was dropped from her lips and Garren studied her carefully.

He knew this game of deceit. One wrong step, one wrong word, and she would make sure that he wouldn't live long enough to study another word on magic.

'It will be ready in the morning, my Queen.' Garren said humbly, while he bowed his head. His eyes were glued to the floor, even when he heard her dress rustle and footsteps moving toward the door.

'Very well. I'll have someone pick it up.' she said. Garren had to bite his tongue to keep the words from flooding out. Was she really so ignorant, so careless, to let someone else pick up something so valuable and dangerous?

'Oh, and Garren, I expect the dagger to come with it.' his head shot up as he stared at her in surprise. It irritated him, how she seemed to feel like she had a right on everything in the castle and everything that belonged to _him_. He managed to smile weakly, but he was sure that his trembling fists would give his agitation away. The Queen gave him a smile that didn't reach her eyes and strode out of the room lightly.

**X.x.X JUST A DREAM X.x.X**

'It's really beautiful, isn't it?' Merlin asked hesitantly while Morgana flipped the weapon in her hand around and around. He knew that she wasn't sure what to think about the dagger that he'd laid in her hands minutes earlier. The heft was long and made out of wood that had been coated with gold, because if it had been solid gold, it would've been almost impossible to lift. He'd conveniently "forgotten" to mention that, though. The blade was made out of copper, a light-weighting metal that was shaped into a feather. A dangerous feather at that, though.

If anyone threatened Merlin with a blade of copper, he would be sure to step away and out of reach. There was always a danger of metal-poisoning if the copper got into one's bloodstream, and he wouldn't want to be one to test it. Arthur had rounded up at Merlin this morning, handing him the blade with an easy smile on his face. The King said that Guinevere had ordered for it, from all the way to the outskirts of Albion, as a present for Morgana. Seeing as her dagger had gone lost somewhere after she'd sacrificed Morgause to lift the veil, Merlin had thought that it was a good idea.

Now, he wasn't so sure of it anymore. Morgana tested the sharpness of the blade with the tip of her index-finger, and grimaced when it made a small cut. A droplet of crimson red blood welled up and she quickly wiped it off on a white piece of cloth. 'Oops. I didn't intend to wound myself with it.' Morgana said apologetically when Merlin raised an eyebrow at her.

He scooted closer to her and plucked the dagger out of her hands. 'That happened because it's not the right way to test its sharpness.' Merlin said, while he carefully laid his fingertip against the blade and softly moved it downward. It caught on his skin and he moved the sharp material away from his fingers and returned it to Morgana's waiting hand.

'If it catches in your skin, it's sharp. I can assure you, my lady, that this blade is sharp enough.' he teased her, using her title as a lady mockingly. Morgana rolled her green eyes at him, but smiled nonetheless. 'Sharp enough to silence your mockery?' the raven-haired lady inquired innocently. Merlin smirked when he saw her widely opened eyes, in an attempt to look more innocent. In her emerald green dress, and with her hair running loosely on her back, he thought she looked adorable.

'Oh no.' he said in a fake offended tone. 'How dare you insult my mockery!' he laughed and therefor wasn't prepared when she pressed her lips onto his and slid her tongue into his mouth. The laughter stopped, and he closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side so that he could deepen their kiss. His brains still refused to process that she was now his wife, and that he had the right to use the Pendragon title by marriage. He didn't want that title, at all. Merlin – or Emrys - was good enough, _Emrys Pendragon_ would overdo it.

'Come on. We need to attend this very boring meeting about cobblestones or something.' Merlin said, faking enthusiasm as he talked. 'I heard Arthur whine about it when I brought him breakfast.'

**X.x.X JUST A DREAM X.x.X**

'Would you like me to refill your glass, my lady?' Merlin asked, while he bended over Morgana's shoulder. Her hair tickled against his ear and he smiled at her, holding up the jug of wine like it was a promise of fortune. Morgana smiled at him and shook her head. 'No thank you, Merlin.' she said politely. Some of the guests on the long table stopped talking to watch, but after a gesture of the King, they continued talking and eating as if they hadn't been eavesdropping a few seconds ago.

Two or three councilmembers had made it clear how they felt about their relationship. Or rather, not about the _relationship_ itself, but more the way that they acted on it. Or lack thereof. Despite the various protests from the council, Merlin remained firm in his stance. He didn't want his share of Camelot's treasure – he _lived_ in Camelot and if it was needed, he had access to it. He didn't need an enormous chest filled with golden coins and jewels gathering dust in a corner of his room – and he didn't want a more luxurious room.

Now, that wasn't their biggest problem. The councilmembers couldn't begin much against that, because it was logical. Merlin was Arthur's advisor and the strongest warlock in Camelot, it made sense for him to be near Arthur. It made sense for him to bring breakfast to the king, because he would never poison it, and would never give anyone else the opportunity to do so, either. But the council argued that it _didn't_ make sense that he would serve the King and Queen wine, let alone serve his own _wife_! They thought that it was a scandal, a show of weakness – how, Merlin had no idea – and that it shouldn't be allowed.

Arthur had remained calm, listened carefully to their arguments and then swept them off the figurative table without as much as a word about it, other than "Those matters aren't to be discussed.". When Merlin had heard about it, he couldn't keep himself from snickering when he imagined the faces of the poor councilmembers.

'I'm not feeling very well. I think it's best to retreat to my chambers, if you'll excuse me.' Morgana said to Arthur, speaking loudly in order to be audible. Arthur nodded and shoved back his chair to accompany her to Gaius'es quarters, but she shook her head and held out her hand for Merlin. Merlin nodded at Arthur and together they retreated to their chamber.

'Are you all right?' he asked her softly, stroking her hair out of her face and noticing how she felt warm and sweaty against his palm. She nodded bravely, though he could see how her cheeks had become pale. _I'm fine. Don't worry about me_. she thought inside his head. Merlin blinked when she smiled at him shakily. _Are you sure? _he asked, though he already knew what she would say.

'Really, Merlin, I'm fi-' she began, but then she blinked rapidly, her eyes opened widely like something had startled her. Her breathing became laboured, and it was as if she was looking right through him. Her entire body trembled and, though Merlin was no expert at health, he knew that it wasn't good. 'I- I- I don't f-feel…' she said, her voice shaking. She swallowed heavily, and Merlin could only barely catch her when she fell.

When he tried to find a comfortable position to hold her in, a shock went through her body. Her eyes shot open, but they were rolled back, only revealing white. Her hands lashed out and clawed at the air, her legs kicking into nothingness. She almost fell out of his arms and Merlin gritted his teeth when her nails dug into his arm.

'GAIUS!'he yelled. He cringed when he heard how hysterical his voice sounded. Even though he was an old man, Gaius flew out of his quarters at noticeable speed when he heard his ward's frightened yell. The old man took two seconds to survey the situation, and three seconds to decide what could be done best.

'Calm down, boy. Bring her inside, lay her on the floor and hold her down as best as you can.' he ordered calmly. The calmness and confidence that Gaius showed managed to calm Merlin down as well, if only a bit. When Morgana was on the floor and Merlin was almost sprawled out over, holding her arms and legs down with all his strength, Gaius opened her mouth and wedged a wooden spoon between her tongue and teeth.

'It's so that she doesn't bite her tongue.' his guardian said, when he caught Merlin eyeing the spoon suspiciously. Another shock went through her body, and Merlin gritted his teeth when he saw her head bashing against the wooden floor. Gaius hastily shoved a pillow underneath her head, but the sound still echoed in Merlin's head.

'What's happening to her?' he gasped, his eyes opened widely. His heart hammered in his chest, as if it would come out if it had been possible, and he could only focus on Morgana and her pain. Gaius looked down at the two sadly. 'I'm afraid I don't know, Merlin. It looks like epilepsy, but if it was, she would've had this as a child. I've never seen this before, not with her, at least.' the old man confessed.

_It's the darkness, _Merlin thought to himself. He remained silent, however. _It has to be. What else could cause this?_ After what felt like an eternity, but in fact only five minutes, Morgana remained still. Gaius removed the spoon and checked her pulse. Apart from it being a bit faster than usual, it was all right. It wasn't long before her breathing evened out and became relaxed.

Merlin sighed and relaxed himself. Warmth shot through his cramped muscles when he got up, but he lifted his wife off the floor and carried her to bed despite the pain. Figuring that she wouldn't be grateful if she woke up in a dirty dress, Merlin removed it as careful as he could, trading the dress for a simple white nightgown. Exhausted, he wrapped the blanket and sheets around them, and held her tightly throughout the night. She didn't wake up even once. He found himself wishing that this, this Darkness inside of her, was just a nightmare. Just a dream.

**X.x.X JUST A DREAM X.x.X**

'Merlin.' Gaius said. Merlin lifted his head off the table and peered up at his guardian. It was before dawn, and the old man had dragged him out of bed for some unknown reason that Merlin was sure wouldn't be worth it.

'What?' he asked, trying hard to keep his eyes open. He'd stayed awake all night, afraid that Morgana would have another attack, and it was catching up with him now. It reminded him of the many sleepless nights that he'd had before he'd rescued her, but he'd rather not think about it so early in the morning.

'When I was examining Morgana this morning, I stumbled upon something…. unexpectant.' the old man confessed. Merlin perked up, hungry for whatever snipped of information about her strange illness. He expected Gaius to be relieved, because he'd found out what was wrong with Morgana, but the old man looked rather… conflicted. Nervous, worried.

'Which was…?' Merlin asked hesitantly. Gaius looked down, but then folded his hands together and looked at Merlin intently.

'I found indications of rape, Merlin.' Gaius said, finally. Merlin's eyes widened and he felt all colour leaving his face. His guardian looked at him expectantly, but Merlin couldn't bring forth a word. 'Please tell me that you had nothing to do with that.' the old man almost pleaded.

It was entirely inappropriate, but Merlin couldn't stop a sound that sounded like a cough and a giggle together from exiting his mouth. He shook his head rapidly when Gaius gave him a confused look.

'No. I have nothing to do with that. At least not… in the way you think.' he said hesitantly. He wasn't sure if Morgana would agree with it, but he knew that he had to tell Gaius everything. So, with some pauses in between when a bad memory resurfaced, Merlin began informing Gaius of everything that had happened. Upon hearing Agravaine's name, Gaius frowned. When hearing with exactly Agravaine had done to Morgana, the old man grabbed the edge of the table and squeezed it so hard that his knuckles became white.

When Merlin had nearly told everything, Gaius interrupted him.

'That was quite dangerous, Merlin. To let the darkness overpower you, I mean. You have to make sure that it will never happen again, because it will shift the balance of the world.' the old man said seriously. Merlin latched on to that sentence and tried to pull more out of Gaius, but his guardian stubbornly refused to let go of more information.

He was just about to ask again, for the hundredth time, when Morgana bounded into the room looking nearly hysterical. Merlin shot up and grabbed her hands before she would hurt herself, but it didn't look like she was having another attack.

'It was a vision!' she gasped, out of breath by the panic that she was apparently feeling. Merlin frowned and looked down at her healing bracelet, that happened to be on the same arm as her wedding ring. He smiled briefly when he saw the emerald green stone. 'That's impossible.' he said, feeling terror twisting around his heart. 'Your bracelet is supposed to block them, not to mention that you only get visions in your dream.' he decided, deeply confused.

She shook her head, her tangled black hair whipping around madly. 'You don't understand. Morgause said that some visions were too important, that they couldn't be blocked! It really was a vision, Merlin!' she breathed. Merlin wiped away some stray tears that she didn't seem to notice were rolling down her cheeks and sighed.

'Okay. I believe you.' he said softly, lovingly stroking through her hair. 'What did you see?' he asked. Her eyes widened even more.

'I saw Gwen poisoning Arthur_.' _

**X.x.X JUST A DREAM X.x.X**

It was impossible. It _should've_ been impossible. Merlin could hardly comprehend _why_ or _how_ Gwen would could poison Arthur. She loved him! And he loved her! But if it had been impossible, they wouldn't be running toward their chambers right now. Merlin panted while he jumped up the stairs, taking two at a time. The timing was perfect. Gwen and Arthur had retreated to their chambers after dinner had been used, deciding that they would share the evening together. No-one would disturb them, there would be no prying eyes.

His heart hammered in his chest and he heard Morgana gasping for air behind him. They had to hurry. If Morgana's vision had been accurate, and Merlin didn't doubt that, the queen would use henbane, a slow-working poison. It didn't work like hemlock, which caused the victim to suffocate quickly. It worked slowly, lazily seeping into the bloodstream and skin, numbing limbs and rendering the victim unconscious until they died slowly and painfully.

'Merlin, what's going-' he heard Gwaine ask, but he ignored the knight and kept on running. He saw Mordred out of the corner of his eye and didn't think, he just acted. _Gwen's poisoning Arthur! _he snapped into the druid knight's mind. They were already around the corner before he could see Mordred's reaction.

_You must be mistaken._ sounded the calm voice in his head. Merlin gritted his teeth and shook his head stubbornly. _Morgana saw it in a vision. She saw-_ his telepathic sentence was cut short abruptly by what he saw in front of him. He'd thrown the door wide open without thinking.

'_Arthur_!' Merlin yelled while he ran toward the king. The blonde-haired man laid slumped in the chair, a dark circle around his left eye. His skin was sickeningly pale, with a hue of grey. The king looked as though he was already dead. He looked back at Morgana over his shoulder. She stood frozen in the doorstep, her face almost as pale as Arthur's. She looked as if she could pass out herself any minute.

A small army of people gathered around the chamber. Merlin saw the look of horror on Gwaine's face. Leon and Percival looked just as shocked. Gaius pushed himself through the crowd and immediately checked for a pulse. 'It's weak. Lay him on the bed.' he ordered. The knights obeyed. Mordred caught Merlin's eyes and the knight nodded at him. It surprised Merlin. Even though magic was allowed, it didn't take away that Mordred had been out to overthrow Camelot with Morgana. Granted, Morgana didn't want Camelot anymore, but could the same be said about the young knight?

'_Arthur! NO!'_ a voice shrieked. The knights made way for their queen. Merlin studied Guinevere carefully, but he only saw concern and sorrow on her face and in her eyes. Was it possible that Morgana could've been mistaken? Had someone else poisoned the king?

'What happened?' the queen cried, while she clasped Gaius at the shoulder. The court physician turned around to look at his queen, and Merlin knew that his guardian would be just as confused as he himself was. Morgana squeezed in his hand tightly. Merlin could feel Mordred watching the scene like a hawk.

'I believe him to be poisoned, my lady.' Gaius eventually said. Gwen's entire expression changed from concern to horror. She staggered backward, like she'd just received a slap in the face and Leon had to support her so that she wouldn't fall.

'But I was only away for a few minutes!' Gwen said, horrified. 'How could someone poison him in such a short time?' she asked out loud. Gaius shook his head and continued examining the king. He ordered for everyone but the Queen and Leon to leave the chambers, and everyone did so.

Morgana was shaking. 'Are you all right?' Merlin asked, cupping her face in his hands. She shook her head and swallowed. 'No. This is terrible. It shouldn't have happened…' she whispered. Though Merlin wondered why she was whispering, he assumed that it was the shock. But when he caught Mordred looking at them with a frown on his face, he began to think that the knight was eavesdropping on them.

_We'll fix this. He'll be all right, I promise._ Merlin thought to her. She nodded silently and sniffled, wiping the tears away with the sleeve of her dress. _You're right. There's nothing we can do now, not while Gaius is still examining him. We need to know what kind of poison was used, anyway. _she replied. They both already knew what poison was used, but if they used that knowledge before Gaius had found it by medical means, it would draw suspicion to them. He was sure that Mordred would make use of it, if he ever felt like getting back at Merlin.

But the time to heal Arthur never came. In fact, when Merlin and Morgana entered the chambers again, the Queen was surrounded by the most trusted knights of Camelot. Leon, Gwaine, Mordred and Percival were there, and some other older knights that had trained with Arthur when he was still a prince.

Merlin immediately knew that they'd made a mistake. He could feel it. He felt Mordred's eyes on him, but he carefully avoided the younger knight's gaze. If Mordred had "betrayed" him, then Merlin would rather not know about it. He would rather not see the triumphal expression on the druid's face. He put his arm around Morgana and held her close, he smiled reassuringly at her before he opened his mouth to tell them that they could heal Arthur.

Before a word even had the chance to get out, Gwen lifted her gaze to them, from her dying husband. Merlin had never expected her warm, kind smile to turn into something that was so repulsive and twisted. He doubted that anyone else but he noticed it, because their attention was fixed on their dying king. But Merlin saw it. He squeezed Morgana's hand and lifted his chin to face the queen.

'I can only think of one person, that has access to everything in the castle. One man, that can access all different kinds of poison, one man that can go into the kitchen. One man that brings my husband and me our food and fills our cups with wine and water. One man, that has lived among us for so long that he thinks he is safe, and can do this without any risk, any suspicion befalling on him.' she said.

The knights all leaned forward, interested to who their queen was so sure had poisoned their king.

'That man is Merlin.'

The words hung in the air, echoing through his head. Everyone remained silent as the queen seemed to be searching for more words to say. Her gaze shifted from Merlin to Morgana, and he felt his heart go cold.

'And I can only think of one person that would support him unconditionally, even if he wanted to make an attempt at her brother's life. Morgana.'

**X.x.X JUST A DREAM X.x.X**

Everything turned into chaos after that. He faintly remember squeezing Morgana's hand tightly again, and telling her to _run_ in her mind. He remembered how she smiled at him, shook her head, and laid her gaze upon the knight closest to her, which happened to be Gwaine, holding out her hands for him to bind them.

Merlin remembered lashing out at whoever was trying to bind his hands, when Morgana's hands were bound tightly and he could see and feel the panic and fear rising within her. He remembered nearly blowing Mordred off his feet with his magic, until the druid knight bound his hands and slapped him in the face to get his attention.

_She needs you right now, Emrys. Get a hold of yourself._ he still didn't understand why Mordred had said that to him, but as far as he knew, it didn't matter anymore. He didn't care if Mordred was to be trusted or not, he didn't care if Mordred was destined to bring Arthur down, because it now looked like the Once and Future king wouldn't live long enough to see that day.

He remember going mad when his hands were bound with silver shackles. He remembered Morgana shrieking hysterically at the guards when they put the cold metal around her wrists. And when he closed his eyes and tried to use magic to break their bindings, he understood why.

They neutralized magic.


	7. Chapter 7

**A big thank you to everyone who's loyally reading this story!**

**JUST A DREAM PT. 7**

They sat in silence in their cell. With dread in his heart and ice in his soul, Merlin watched as the sunlight of the old day faded to the black of the night to make way for a new day. A thousand thoughts went through his mind: _Would they ever get out of here? Why had Gwen poisoned Arthur? Was Arthur still alive, or had the King already fallen under the poisons firm grasp?_ None of those thoughts were shared with his cell-mate, though.

Morgana watched as the day ended and the night began. She watched Merlin as he turned from angry to panicked and at last to a cold, numb state of mind. He barely blinked in the dim light and when he did, his eyes burned from the lack of moisture. His vision blurred once again, but he didn't care. Only when his eyes burned so badly and water clouded his vision did he blink. Neither of them tried to use magic to break their shackles, for their previous encounter with it had been enough to let them know that it would be useless.

_Merlin._

Morgana's telepathic voice echoed in Merlin's mind, and although the raven-haired man heard it, he didn't reply. Nor did he give any other sign, mental or physical, to let her know that the message had been received. He was stuck in the strange state that one sometimes found themselves in, when they were almost asleep but yet still alert. Nothing seemed to matter anymore, but getting out of there. He might not care about what would happen to him if the King would die, but he was determined to get Morgana out of here unharmed.

Returning to Camelot had been a mistake for them both. Merlin should've known better: the citizens would never accept Morgana and Arthur could handle himself now. There were many sorcerers and sorceresses in the newly reunited Albion, all of them capable enough to protect the King of Camelot.

_We'll get out of here. I promise. _she said again. Only then was it that Merlin realized that he heard her voice in her head. His head shot up as he stared at her. She looked back confused and lifted an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

'I heard you. Telepathically! It still works!' he said, words tumbling over his tongue, one thought fighting harder than the other for his attention. His mind began working at full speed as he tried to understand what this could mean for them, for their chances of escaping. At least they could speak without having to fear anyone eavesdropping on them.

Excited, Merlin tried to use magic again, but when he saw Morgana's disappointed look he knew that his eyes had not glowed gold, nor had he broken the shackles that bound his hands and magic. _There has to be a way._ he thought stubbornly. Would whoever had made these chains know of their weakness? But then he realized that it wouldn't matter either way, because the chances of getting tortured to near death was very slim in Camelot. Arthur had always prided himself in not using torture as a way to punish criminals, and Merlin was sure that the Queen wouldn't dare to display such an obvious sign of change in her behaviour.

Once again, the thought of Guinevere entered his mind. What had happened to her? He had been stuck in that Tower himself, in the highest room with the mandrake roots, but he had been largely unaffected by it. Apart from the occasional nightmare and shiver when the memory crossed his mind, he didn't think that it effected his ways of thinking or doing. _Does it? _Merlin wondered to himself. What if the mandrake roots _had_ changed something within him. Something of which he didn't notice the effect immediately?

_Crack._

The process of his thoughts was rudely interrupted when a door was opened. Their cell was out of sight from the stairs and the only door to the dungeons, so they had no idea who it was. Irrationally, Merlin hoped that it was Arthur, who would apologize and tell them to get out of the dusty cell. But Merlin's heart filled with dread once again when he saw that it wasn't Arthur, but Garren.

The young warlock had no idea why, but the two warlocks had never really liked each other. There was no rational or logical reason for their mutual dislike, other than the feeling that they might just have to face each other one day. When Merlin saw Garren's expression, one of delight and triumph, Merlin wondered if today was that day. Despite being shackled with magic-neutralizing chains, the young warlock glared at the sorcerer.

'Look who's trapped in a cell like a thief caught in the act.' the sorcerer said, his grey eyes sparkling with delight. Merlin pressed his lips together and remained silent, determined to do so until the man would leave. But it looked like Garren wasn't going to leave anytime soon.

'Both of you will be executed at dawn first thing in the morning.' Garren said, before he spared the window a glance. 'Excuse me, I meant in an hour or so. _Seperately_.' the sorcerer said, a slight smirk on his face. Merlin narrowed his eyes at the man, determined to push back the panic that started arising in his chest. His heart picked up speed and pounded in his ears, almost convincing him that the other sorcerer could hear its anxious thumps.

'Who gave _you_ the authority to sentence citizens to death?' Morgana sneered at him bravely. Garren chuckled and shook his head in disapproval.

'The Queen did. And seeing as I will be the new King, and you are not citizens but _scum_ from the streets, I have every right to sentence whoever I want to death. But don't dread, your King's beloved knights will follow shortly after you.' Merlin stiffened at the tone of the sorcerer. He'd thought that Garren, the ambitious young man that had showed up at the castle's gates half a year ago, wouldn't be so cruel and power-hungry. It seemed that every sorcerer or being of magic preferred Arthur dead, even when magic had been allowed back into Camelot.

'In fact, I was thinking about bringing back torture shortly after I've been crowned. I'm sure you won't mind if I use two unfortunate king-murderers as a test, hmm…? the young man said. He was about to stretch out his hand and utter a word of magic, when the door was almost slammed out of its hinges.

'What the…'

Garren had just enough time to turn around and see two figures running down the stairs, before they reached him. One of them hit him with a blacksmith's hammer. Merlin heard a harsh _crack!_ and flinched when the man sank down to the floor lifelessly. Then he blinked and looked at their rescuers.

'Gwaine? _Mordred_?'

**X.x.X. JUST A DREAM .X.x.X**

'We'll never make it there. There's guards everywhere!' Morgana said desperately. Hidden behind a few wooden barrels, they saw that the courtyard was indeed filled with guards and knights everywhere. Merlin peeked over the barrel, but his head shot down when the Queen looked their way. He was sure that she hadn't seen them, though, because he didn't hear any shouting – other than "Catch the traitors! Don't let them live!" – nor did anyone come their way.

From the little glance that he'd had, Gwen looked like an Angel of Vengeance. Dressed in a wide, black dress that was finished off with small crystals and gemstones, her hair plaited into one long braid, her eyes cold and calculating, ever searching for the "traitors". Merlin felt his blood run cold. From what he could see now, Gwen seemed lost.

He wasn't about to give up, though. They would find a way to reach Arthur, they would save him _and_ they would find a way to fix Gwen. Even if he had to go through Albion entirely and use the help of every druid, sorcerer and magical creatures he could find, he would do it. _If there was just a way to distract the guards without attracting _their_ attention_… Merlin pondered.

He cast a glance at Morgana. She looked like a warrior, with her hair plaited and rolled up on her head, so that no-one would be able to pull at it. Her expression was grim, but her eyes shone with determination. She caught Merlin looking and smiled at him slightly, squeezing his hand. _We'll make it._ she said. Merlin smiled back.

'I'll distract them.' Mordred said suddenly, breaking the silence. Merlin opened his mouth to protest, but Morgana stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.  
'Good. They don't know that you're with us. It's not like you and Merlin ever got along, so why would you help him?' she said calmly. Merlin grimaced at the mention of his distrust for Mordred, but the druid knight didn't seem to mind. Instead, the boy nodded in agreement and ran away.

'_They went that way! I saw them in the Crystal of Neahtid! Quickly, before they get out of Camelot!' _the young boy yelled at the top of his lungs. The guards and other knights followed him without hesitation, but the Queen remained in the middle of the courtyard. Merlin tensed up, prepared to pounce and knock her out, or immobilize her in some other way, when she glanced around for one more time and then slipped away behind one of the buildings, out of Camelot.

_Where's she going?_ Merlin wondered, but he didn't stop to share his concern with Morgana. It was the perfect opportunity. All the knights and guards gone, the Queen out of Camelot. No-one knew that the Crystal wasn't anywhere near Camelot.

_Now!_ Morgana yelled in his mind, and together they made a run for it, toward the castle. It was mostly abandoned, though they saw a few servants. Most of them just stared, shrieked or pointed at them, though. The cook, a lady of age, ran toward them with a rolling-pin, but Merlin simply used magic to turn it against its owner. In any other situation, seeing the look on the cook's face as her favourite baking device started whacking her around the head would've been funny, but now, they just ran further toward the royal chambers.

'By Gods, what took you so long?' Gaius nearly yelled when the stumbled into the chambers. 'They're searching for you everywhere! Leon is beginning to think that Mordred is _delusional_.' the court physician said, exasperated.

'Sorry Gaius. The cook decided to attack us with her rolling-pin.' Morgana said casually while she strode toward her half-brother. When Merlin came closer, he felt his stomach turn around and bile rise to his throat. The King looked deathly pale, ghostly almost. The grey hue of death was already sneaking up his cheeks, grasping and claiming his life in its eerie clutches. Merlin gasped when he checked for a pulse and for a second, he thought that the King was already dead.

But then he found a pulse, and breathed out, greatly relieved. There was still hope. He and Morgana exchanged glances and looked down at the dying King in unison. If anyone had told him that he would fight for Arthur's life with Morgana, he wouldn't have believed them. Yet here they were, with Mordred distracting the guards and the Queen out for Arthur's life.

'I- I don't know if I'm strong enough.' Merlin stammered, his heart beating faster and faster. His hands became clammy, droplets of sweat appearing on his forehead. He didn't even know how to heal a condition like this. Morgause was the one who'd saved Morgana from dying by the hemlock, not him. Morgana looked him in the eye and clasped his hands tightly.

'Look at me, Merlin.' she said softly. When he didn't reply and looked away, she snapped: '_Look _at me!' the young warlock hesitantly met her gaze, eyes unsure, swallowing heavily. He was scared, oh so scared, that he wouldn't be able to save the King. That the Queen would wreak havoc upon the city, that Albion would be torn apart. He feared the day that Morgana would slip out of his grasp, away from him, falling back into the Darkness. He feared that even if he _did_ save Arthur, that one day Mordred would end the King's life and that he would have to face both of them in the end.

'You're strong. There's a reason why Arthur has lived through all my plans to take the throne and end his life. If it hadn't been for that damned pendant, Uther would be alive right now. You destroyed an army of immortal beings, twice! You control the last dragon! You were strong enough to _save_ me, whenever I was on the brink of dying at your hand. If you can bring me back, you can certainly bring Arthur back.' she said confidently. Merlin flinched at the confidence in her voice.

How could she be so sure of his powers? He, who'd sabotaged all of her plans? He, who'd condemned her to a life between Light and Darkness, being tugged and thrown around by both sides as if she was a mace on a chain. But he nodded nonetheless, and laid his folded hands on Arthur's chest.

He prepared, called his magic to come to him and tried to pour every ounce of his knowledge and power into the one spell that should save the King's life. He kept on telling himself, _I'm strong enough, I'm strong enough, I'm strong enough_. And yet still, the King's heart ceased to beat under his hands.

A strangled sound, something between a gasp for air and a sob escaped his lips. _No._ his mind wouldn't accept it, his brain wouldn't process it. _No!_ Arthur couldn't be dead. He _couldn't_ be! Not after everything they'd been through, after everything they'd fought so hard for. Not now that they'd finally gotten Morgana back, now that magic had finally been accepted into the lands. 'No…' he choked out, tears welling up in his eyes and his expression frozen in horror.

Morgana folded her hands around his, intertwined them, and he felt a cold rush of electricity moving through his veins, his body. He didn't know what she did, or how she did it, but for a few seconds, it felt as though they weren't two individuals anymore, it felt as if they were _one_ being. One being, powerful enough to accomplish whatever they desired. Powerful enough to crush villages under their hold, to crush hearts with their grasp, to fill the world with eternal darkness. They could be _gods_, if they so desired.

But becoming gods wasn't what Merlin thought about. Neither was it crushing hearts or villages. He hardly even noticed the layer of ice that crystallized around his heart, he didn't feel the pulsating hum of Darkness that spread throughout his body, calling for his attention, encouraging him to _kill_. All he did was press their hands down on Arthur's chest and pouring all of their combined magic into the dead King. None of them noticed the rain and thunder that suddenly filled the air. They didn't see the thunder that roared and burned a tree down to ashes.

The king's body jerked upward, his eyes shot open revealing only white, his pale mouth opened and air rushed into his lungs. His heart kick-started and regained a healthy rhythm. The two beings of Light and Darkness smiled at each other in relief and pulled back their hands, watching as the king's breathing evened out. The ice within Merlin melted away and he smiled brightly at Gaius, _almost_ bouncing up and down in excitement. He felt the strange need to either break out in sobs or break out into laughter. He did neither, though. He could only smile, for now.

'We did it! We did it!' he said, and once more because it sounded impossible to believe. And yet the king laid there, breathing and with a beating heart. The court physician shoved the two aside and checked Arthur's pulse and breathing, content. Then they all looked out of the window, seeing the storm, rain and thunder. The court physician, warlock and witch all realized what had happened and what they'd done, but none of them spoke a word about it. It were matters to be dealt with later.

'I hear them! They're in our chambers!' the Queen screeched. Merlin straightened his shoulders and pushed Morgana behind him, determined to protect her, Arthur and Gaius if it would be needed. The Queen barged in, followed by a small army of knights, swarming around in the room like a bunch of mad bees. More swords than he could possibly count were pointed at his chest, but Merlin just gestured toward the king with his chin and met Mordred's glance.

The druid knight looked anxious. But when Merlin nodded, Mordred relaxed and smiled at them. Merlin found himself smiling back and wondered how on earth he'd seemingly evaded the vision of Mordred slaying Arthur. It wasn't the first time that the druid knight had risked his life for the king, but breaking them out of a cell and distracting the guards with risk for his own life? Merlin was sure, for the moment, that Arthur's future was safe.

Then he heard Gwen laughing in amazement and was reminded that it was not yet over. They still had the Queen to deal with. But for now, they were safe.

**X.x.X. JUST A DREAM .X.x.X**

'Lady Morgana. Merlin.' the umpteenth knight said for the day, while making a quick reverence for them. Merlin rolled his eyes and Morgana stifled a laugh at seeing his expression. It was just about the filthiest knight that had formally addressed them that day, and Merlin was sure that there were many more to come. It was great, of course, that Morgana was _really_ being accepted by everyone in Camelot now, but it also meant that he had to share her with just about everyone as well. Before, they'd had plenty of peace and quiet. Now, they couldn't even walk from one room to another without getting spoken to by every knight, servant or sorcerer that came in their path.

After they'd healed Arthur, the death-sentenced that rested on them had been withdrawn. Arthur had held a banquet to make it up to them and officially thank them for saving his life. To everyone's surprise, Morgana had been made Queen Regent, in case anything was to happen to both Arthur and Gwen. Merlin had watched the queen carefully at this announcement, and he'd seen her stiffen. She relaxed again when it became apparent that Morgana would only be regent if both of them died or were unable to rule the kingdom.

Merlin braced himself for what he knew was to come. Sure enough, in addition to Morgana being made Queen Regent, Merlin found himself being named King Regent. A million protests grew in his mind, the ringing in his ears drowning out all other sounds. He didn't want to be King if Arthur and Gwen died! He was happy for Morgana, who would surely make a great Queen Regent if the day was to come, but he just couldn't. Be. King. Ever.

He knew that he would elope if anything happened to Arthur. The people would expect him to take the throne and rule alongside Morgana, but he just knew that he would run. It could be seen as irresponsible, as running away from life, but Merlin didn't care. He. _Couldn't_. Be. King.

Morgana sensed his distress and squeezed his hand. _We'll make sure nothing happens to them. _she assured him with a small smile. Merlin managed to smile back, through all the panic and distress going through him, and pushed his worries and fears away. They still had to find a way to redeem Gwen.

_Funny,_ Merlin thought to himself. _In all the years I've thought of a way to redeem Morgana. And now, I have to redeem _Gwen_. _And he seemed to have gained Mordred's trust and friendship. Mordred had earned _his_ trust and friendship, as well. It had just happened, it had just snuck up to him. The world seemed turned upside down.

**X.x.X. JUST A DREAM .X.x.X**

It was the next day that disaster struck. Merlin observed her silently from under his lashes, too tired to open them fully but yet not tired enough to go back to sleep. Besides, it was almost dawn, and then he would have to get up to help the knights with their training. Or, better said, he would be _subjected_ to their training. He wasn't looking forward to it in the slightest. Morgana shifted beside him and Merlin smiled, placing a chaste kiss on her full lips.

'Good morning.' he said nonchalantly, as if the past night hadn't happened at all. His heart seemed to skip a beat when he thought about it. That night had been better, more intense and more pleasurable than any night before. Not that the other nights hadn't been pleasurable, not at all, but it had just been… better. A slight blush crept over his cheeks, and he rolled his eyes at himself. _We're married. Married couples have experiences like that and don't blush about it. _he told himself. _In fact, we made love _before_ the thought of marriage even occurred to us._

Morgana's green eyes opened. She stared at him silently for a few minutes, until he brushed over her cheekbone with his fingers and smiled at her. Her eyes looked… different. And so was the way that she looked at him. So it wasn't really a surprise to him when she hot up and hastily covered herself with the sheets when she realized that she was unclothed.

'Who… who are you?' she gasped, looking around. Merlin's smirk faded and he looked at her, deeply confused. _Please tell me this is a joke._ he thought, and he almost jumped up in surprise when Morgana jerked away from him and stared at him. Her pale-green eyes filled with… _fear_? 'I heard your voice in my head! Get out of my head!' she shrieked at him, suddenly.

He didn't expect her to lunge forward to him, rounding up on him with her fists. They bashed against his bare chest, but aside from trying to grasp her hands to stop her, he didn't defend himself. Merlin had been through so much physical and mental pain that a few hits didn't matter to him anymore.

'Morgana! _Morgana!_' Merlin snapped at her, when he'd managed to grab her arms and push them to her sides. The woman was writhing around like mad, and she'd clawed at his face and chest, causing multiple gashes. He had no idea what was going on, but he did understand that she had no idea who he was or where she was.

'What have you done to me?! Please, let me go!' she sobbed, turning her head away so that he couldn't see the tears rolling down her cheeks. Merlin could only stare, immobilized by the realization that went through him. His world came crashing down around him, and he could only gasp and think: _No. It's not possible. It can't be._ But it was, and it became apparent later, when Gaius examined her.

Morgana had lost her memory. All memories. She didn't know who he was, she didn't know where she was. She didn't even know who _she herself_ was.

'Well, if I lived… _live_ in Camelot, then who am I?' she asked them, her pale-green eyes filled with questions and innocence. It had been a long time since Merlin and Arthur had seen any form of innocence in her eyes. When they'd feared that she was lost forever, turned against them by her half-sister, her eyes had been filled with lies and acts. At best, one could've seen hatred and madness in her pale-green eyes.

When she and Merlin had returned to Camelot, her eyes had often been filled with regret and sometimes even a deep self-loathing, but as time went on, she'd become more and more comfortable in her own skin. Merlin refused to remember how her eyes had looked when she'd been captured by Agravaine for so long.

Merlin and Arthur exchanged looks of worry and insecurity. Would they tell Morgana the truth, about who she was? Would they shatter this light, free form of her, by burdening her with all of the wrongs that she'd done in the past.

He didn't want to lose Morgana. He wanted her to remember him, and everyone else. He wanted her to remember that they'd saved Arthur _together_. But if remembering him meant that she would be tortured by everything that she'd done, he would rather keep her oblivious. Perhaps it was selfish in a way, because he was sure that the Morgana that he knew – he dared not to think that he _had known_ her – would want to regain her memories as soon as possible. But in a way it was also an act of selflessness, because he was essentially sacrificing what they had to keep her happy and free of regret.

The decision weighted down in his stomach like one of Camelot's bricks, but he forced himself to open his mouth and utter a lie. 'Your name is Morgana...' his eyes drifted to a painting on the wall. It was a painting of a fearie, enjoying the feel of the wind underneath its wings. 'Morgana Le Fay.' he decided, a smile forced on his lips. He felt Arthur's eyes on him, burning holes in the back of his head, but he ignored it and bravely ventured on.

'Your father served in Camelot's army, and he left you here to serve the royal household as a servant…'

**X.x.X. JUST A DREAM .X.x.X**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm so evil! How's Merlin going to fix _this_? I dare you to think of a way to bring back Morgana's memories! Review!**


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